You Only Care about Yourself: The Hard Truth

Let’s face it, we’ve all met people who just seem to care about themselves. They are the ones that cut in line, tell stories only about themselves and never ask how you’re doing. Maybe, they have always stood out like a sore thumb because of their behavior or they might be someone close to us.

Whatever the case may be, they just don’t seem to care about anyone but themselves. Most people would argue that empathy is a fundamental aspect of human nature but for some individuals this may not be entirely true.

Here’s why:

Unpacking Selfishness

Selfishness or self-centeredness refers to prioritizing our wants and needs above others’ without considering potential negative outcomes or consequences on them.

A simple concept right? But as we get older (and wiser) we realise selfish traits aren’t limited to innocent childhood games like refusing to share your toys with your siblings.

In adulthood, being selfish often manifests itself in seemingly innocuous ways such as putting oneself before everyone else even when there’s minimal impact on one’s life if our preferences differ from those around us.

In most cases though selfish tendencies can lead an individual into full-blown narcissism where seeing things from other’s perspectives is impossible because everything should revolve around satisfying their desires alone.

While narcissistic individuals may appear confident and charismatic making them initially attractive personality types, overtime cracks will begin appearing in relationships due mainly by loyalty only flowing one way i.e towards pleasing the “narcissist”.

Being empathetic whilst having self-awareness and personal boundaries (what defines healthy selfish behaviour) allows each individual feel good – which shouldn’t necessarily come at another person’s expense.

Types Of Self-Centered People

In general terms there are various categories encompassed under Selfish behaviours:

  • Attention Seekers
  • Entitled People
  • Orbiters
  • Flakey People
  • The Martyrs

Each of these individuals has their unique characteristics, making it important to understand how to interact with them.

Attention Seekers

Sometimes referred to as drama queens or kings, they just love being the center of attention. They go out of their way for attention because often they feel neglected and unappreciated by others.

When interacting with an Attention seeker:

  • Be attentive and try your best to show interest in the conversation.
  • Avoid negative reinforcement at all costs since this could lead them on a spiral that eventually ends up harming themselves.

Entitled People

An entitled person is convinced that everyone owes him/her something – whether he/she deserves it or not.

They might be work colleagues who believe promotions should belong only to those deserving praise (them), acquaintance who complains constantly at restaurants despite having no legitimate reason. Simply put they possess an inflated sense of self-importance.

Interacting with entitled people can be challenging since they don’t see anything wrong in what they do but with time you may try:

  • Setting boundaries early i.e say “NO” when appropriate.
  • Encourage conversations involving other points view from different perspectives apart from theirs

Orbiters

There are several forms which Obiters take:
Those hovering around Relationships /crush
Or
People-Shoppers flitting between clubs/ group chats avoiding interactions deeper than ‘hi’ /’hello’

Whether its fulfilling seeks validation through companionship verification orbits’s behaviour breeds superficiality; building relationships based off empty likes/comments .

Here are ways we can deal with Orbits:

  • Set clear boundaries by politely refusing excessive attempts such as meeting up etc
  • Try lessening contact/responding significantly slower until the orbiter gets skilled enough evaluate where personal boundaries lie ,

Flakey People

The ones notorious for bailing last minute ruining perfectly planned weekends/holidays/events (you name it!).

Interacting With Flakey Folk Can be quite tricky since you can’t really trust them not to flake. Here’s what usually helps:

  • Speaking up about precisely how their behaviour makes you feel.
  • Simply stop taking follow-up action and wait for them to initiate contact- providing a sense they are putting effort into the friendship/relationship.

The Martyr

These dreadful individuals claim they don’t mind always being there for others, even at personal expense—but when finally asked to seek assistance usually respond negatively seeing this as a unreasonable expectation change in roles.

Here is how we might deal with martyrs:

  • Encourage mutual collaborations that invite teamwork rather than one-sided assistance
  • Letting someone know ‘only’ if they’re capable of committing time and resource often suffices cutting off any unnecessary guilt connection

Why Do We Turn To Selfishness?

Some people have pointed towards social media as propagator of self absorbed behaviors by encouraging over sharing moments –personal achievements which translates inferiority complex onto less “travelled” pathways/lives .

Self-centered behavior also adapts due external life triggers such as breakups (which could create emotional healing blocks), job insecurity, or negative friend-group dynamics transforming outgoing folks introverts who can never get enough of themselves.

Conclusion

In conclusion, we each need some selfish tendencies in our lives especially ensuring personal growth but checking oneself when this treads close on well-being other counterparts helps longevity relationships last longer.

Don’t fall prey narcissistic behaviours by cultivating healthy relationships where positive reinforcement has equal give-and-take interaction.

Let’s ensure treating Self Care with priority and share the joy we each build internally making everyone around us better versions today tomorrow .

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