Why is My Older Sister so Mean? The Truth

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why is my older sister so mean?” Perhaps, it’s because she hates all things beautiful and happy. Or maybe it’s because she thinks that being nice isn’t cool anymore. It could be something as simple as jealousy or a need for attention. Whatever the reason may be, there are ways to deal with her meanness without completely losing your sanity.

Understanding Your Older Sister

Before we can delve into why your older sister behaves the way she does, let’s first try to understand her personality traits.

Personality Traits of an Older Sister

  • Possessiveness
  • Over protectiveness
  • Bossy nature

It’s no secret that these three characteristics are synonymous with most elder siblings out there. They feel entitled to look out for their younger brothers and sisters and believe they know what’s best for them too.

However, some elder sisters take this protective role too far by becoming extremely bossy or even overbearing at times. If you have an elder sister like this, then we suggest reading on!

Reasons Why Your Older Sister May Be Mean

Sibling Rivalry:

Sibling rivalry has been around since the beginning of time itself! As children grow up together in one household, conflicts often arise relating to parental favoritism, available resources and individual differences.
Are you better than your sister in sports or academics? Or was she always considered a parent’s favourite while growing up?
Well if this sounds familiar then sibling rivalry could very well be a cause behind your elder sister’s mean behavior towards you.

Age Gap:

There is usually at least two years’ difference between an elder sibling and their younger counterpart when compared with age gaps among other peers like cousins etc.
An 8-year-old might not care about having control over stacking his t-shirt shelf along a room wall but an 11-year-old would. Age often influences thoughts and behaviors and difference in such can result in misunderstandings between siblings.

Trying to Establish Dominance:

Elder sisters are always trying to establish dominance, it’s their way of ensuring everyone else knows who is boss. Your sibling wants power over you so they will try to exert control whenever possible by belittling or being rude towards you. This is especially true when age differences among siblings aren’t significant enough that the elder one has already got past teenage years.

How to Deal With a Mean Elder Sister

Be Prepared

The first step to dealing with an older sister who acts meanly is remembering something very important: she probably won’t change her behavior overnight.
It’s important not to expect or force your sister into becoming nicer just because you approached her nicely once, Make sure that you understand what upset her (or if there was anything), even though she might be too proud/upset/sad/mad/scared/anxious etc., admit mistakes made on your part quickly without sugar-coating things which’ll make confrontation better sometimes.

Stand Up for Yourself

Sometimes establishing boundaries requires standing up for oneself even when around family members. Boundaries working as lines nobody (not even parents obviously) should cross.
If your sister makes fun of something close associated with yourself consistently then let them know directly how this negatively affects you emotionally,
Telling someone how their behaviour hurts us may invite conflict initially but we don’t want others lording over us like dictators forever right?

Tip: Talk about this incident in private rather than making it public, as airing dirty laundry publicly never really helps anyone!

Try Talking It Out With Her One-on-One

When emotions cool down after upsetting events happen, communication might open pathways leading back from troubled waters.
Just tell your big sis straight-up why certain incidents/events bother/hurt/anger/frustrate/disappoint/enrage/etc. you. Find commonalities and try to ease any sense of separation brewing amidst the both of you.

Involve an Objective Third-Party such as a Family Member

If attempts at speaking with your sister one-on-one do not work, then it might be time to solicit help from another family member or close friend.
The key here is finding someone who will remain objective throughout the conversation and won’t take sides automatically in times when first impressions/opinions hardly indicate anything clearly enough.

Tip: If somebody tries disparaging either party during this process stick up-for each other! No need for creating other conflictual scenarios because we don’t know what lies ahead tomorrow let alone further away

Seek Therapy

Seeking professional help isn’t always necessary but it might also open new perspectives enabling healthier relationships without stress which may seem nothing like positive influences around ourselves indeed…sometimes taking advantage of therapeutic interventions can go a long way.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, facing conflicts within our own immediate households can be difficult especially given that nobody really knows us better than those people whom we grew up with.
There’s no right/wrong way pf handling “mean” siblings, sometimes patience works sometimes being upfront does-the-job better (seems all dependant on unique familial circumstances tbh). Just remember that dealing with challenging relationship dynamics realistically requires empathy+ understanding coming from both parties involved.

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