Why I Can’t Keep a Job: My Struggle with Employment

As a frequent flyer in the job market, I have come to accept that job hunting is nothing but a game of roulette. You never know when your number will be up or if Lady Luck would ever grant you her favors. However, unlike the occasional gambler who strikes gold at some point, fate seems to have me pegged for an endless cycle of interviews and layoffs.

Introduction

It all began after my graduation from college. Armed with optimism and enthusiasm, I leaped headfirst into the world of job seeking. Fast forward ten years later; here I am still trying to keep myself employed long enough before getting kicked out again unceremoniously.

The Cycle Begins…

From my first job as a call center agent (which lasted less than three months) to my last stint as an insurance underwriter (I got fired after two weeks because they found out about ‘that’ incident), there seems always to be something preventing me from keeping a steady paycheck coming in every month.

Always Late on Day One

Is it any wonder then that most hiring managers seem befuddled by my lackluster performance during interviews? It is not that I don’t try hard enough or brush off their comments like water off duck feathers; no, this has become second nature for me now whenever applying for jobs.

The thing is – every time the dreaded “so tell us why we should hire you?” question arises during these formal get-togethers, words often fail me! Then there is what follows afterward…I’m usually late arriving at day one Orientation!

The Dreaded 90-Day Period

However remarkable it may appear for some people – discovering training manuals missing key information / taking extended lunch breaks or calling sick once too many times tends not to bode well for keeping a job for more than three months! You’ll have to start over once again.

In Conclusion

As you can imagine, after all these years of ‘trying hard’ and receiving nothing but pink slips in return; I think it’s time for me to move on to another experiment. After all, there are still so many jobs out there I haven’t been fired from yet. Who knows what the future holds for me?

Rules of Thumb:

  • DO NOT take a day off within your first 30 days (Wait until day 31)
  • Hide any social media posts from yourself online during business hours
  • Arrive at Interviews with tissue – Very Likely Rejection Awaits
  • Always act as though you’re paying them for work experience rather than the other way around

What advice do YOU have?

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