Why does my husband get mad when i cry?

It’s a classic situation. You’re upset, you start to cry, and suddenly your husband reacts like he’s just been personally insulted by those tears. But why does this happen? Is it because he secretly hates emotions? Or maybe he thinks you’re manipulating him with your tearful displays? The truth may surprise you.

It’s Not About You

The first thing to realize is that when your husband gets mad at your tears, it usually has nothing to do with you. In fact, it often comes down to something pretty primal: his basic instincts as a man.

Masculine Conditioning

From the time we’re little boys, men are taught that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. We hear things like “boys don’t cry” or “man up”. And while these phrases might seem innocuous on the surface, they actually have a profound effect on how men view themselves and their emotions.

This conditioning can make it very difficult for men (especially if they’ve never done any emotional work) to feel comfortable expressing their own feelings, let alone creating space for someone else’s.

Men Feel Emotions Differently

This doesn’t mean that men don’t feel emotions – they absolutely do! They just tend to process them differently than women do. Women often find it cathartic and comforting to talk about their feelings or have a good cry when things get overwhelming; whereas many men need more time and space before they can delve into what they’re really feeling.

If your husband is the kind of guy who doesn’t easily share his own feelings or process them quickly,your outpouring of emotion may overwhelm him.

Power Struggles

Another possible explanation for your husband getting angry when you cry could come down to power dynamics in the relationship. It might be that he perceives (consciously or subconsciously) that your tears are an attempt to control or manipulate him.

Our “Fight, Flight or Freeze” Response

When our brains feel like we’re being manipulated or controlled, sometimes this can trigger a “fight, flight or freeze” response – meaning that we get defensive, angry and even aggressive.

Prejudice & Misunderstanding

It’s important to remember too that men who grew up with the characteristics of toxic masculinity often hold certain prejudices about women as emotional beings which leads them to misunderstand attitudes

For example: if your husband doesn’t understand why you need a good cry after an argument (with him), he may assume that you’re just trying to make him feel bad for what happened — instead of recognizing it as healthy release.

What Can You Do?

So now that we know why our husbands might react badly when they see us crying; how do we move forward in this situation?

First off, it’s important not to take his reaction personally. As noted earlier–chances are high it isn’t actually about you. Instead consider these strategies:

Communication

Assuming both parties wish for resolution of the issue raised by OP crying causes partner anger, communication is critical. It is essential here because whatever wrong notion somebody has got against their partner regarding their attitude towards crying needs taking care of once and for all via dialogue.

If you have more transparent communication within the relationship where feelings aren’t repressed and pushed aside but consumed peacefully over time then maybe each other will be able to understand how each gender deals with emotions differently while showing empathy with one another… Be patient!

Establish Trust

Trust stems from confidence embedded through exposure on transparency ad open-minded deliberation so establishing trust ought precede effective two-way conversation between partners.

Once there is sufficient level of trust such interactive session should help both sides air out everything; perceptions concerning underlying feelings behind crying, the appropriate approach both can take when tears are shed during an argument or emotionally weighted exchange et cetera.

Seeing Some Humor in Things

Sometimes a funny icebreaker to dispel any palpable tension could help. Maybe there’s something hilariously interesting about how people react to another person crying? Or maybe it seems silly that such emotion can even be interpreted as negative contention between couples? Encourage your partner to loosen up if they get too defensive while simultaneously being ready and willing to laugh sometimes themselves!

One thing you don’t do though is make jest of their reaction/response since doing so will not only disengage them but also bring hurtful reactions which for obvious reasons should be avoided.

Create Safe Space

The traditional notion among women is that men believe feelings are a weakness hence it become difficult tryna ascertain what method works best–in creating love space then sometime absence brings silence needed where men gather wits instead of just clamming and lashing out because someone cries.

This means giving your husband some time alone (although not all instances calls for this); letting him come back with clear head–equilibrium restored after reviewing his position making objective sense-making and meeting you halfway afterwards. This helps improve communication subsequent issues fair resolution

To Wrap It Up

Ultimately, seeing our husbands’ anger as stemming from rooted conditioning rather than personally directed on us (when we cry) lessens the impact taken by undue negativity (empathy works here). Add better two-way dialogue free of judgement or criticism peppered with humor whilst supplementing each other’s differences in handling emotions… And voilà! You’ve got yourself a healthy embracing relationship!

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