Why Do I Attract Taken Guys?

It’s no secret that many women have a weakness for men who are unattainable. The thrill of chasing after someone we know deep down we can’t have is oddly appealing. But why do so many women find themselves drawn to unavailable men? And what are the pitfalls of pursuing these men?

Why Do I Attract Taken Guys?
Why Do I Attract Taken Guys?

What Makes Unavailable Men So Appealing?

There are several factors that contribute to our attraction to unavailable men:

  • Challenge: We like a challenge, and pursuing someone who is “off-limits” presents an exciting challenge.
  • Unrealistic Fantasies: In our minds, we create elaborate fantasies about what it would be like to be with this person. This fuels our desire even further.
  • Fear of Intimacy: Some women may feel more comfortable pursuing a man they can’t actually have because it allows them to avoid getting close and vulnerable.

Of course, these aren’t the only reasons why some women chase after unavailable men – everyone’s motivations are different.

How Do Women End Up in This Situation?

Maybe you’ve found yourself attracted to someone who’s already taken, or maybe they’re emotionally unavailable due to personal issues. Either way, it can be difficult to shake off those feelings once they take hold.

Here are a few common scenarios that lead women into relationships with unavailable men:

The Married Man

We all know the old adage – “If he’ll cheat with you, he’ll cheat on you. ” Yet somehow, this doesn’t deter some women from getting involved with married or otherwise taken men.

While there’s no one-size-fits-all reason for why this happens, some experts believe that these relationships allow both parties to avoid true intimacy and emotional vulnerability.

The Emotionally Unavailable Man

Sometimes a guy just isn’t ready for a relationship – whether due to past trauma or other personal reasons. Women who are attracted to these men may find themselves pursuing a relationship that never quite gets off the ground.

As with any type of unavailable man, it’s important to recognize when you’re in over your head and move on before you get hurt.

The Celebrity Crush

We’ve all had our fair share of celebrity crushes – but for some women, these infatuations can become all-consuming. It’s one thing to admire someone from afar, but when we start fantasizing about being with them, things can take a turn for the unhealthy.

What Are the Risks?

While there’s certainly nothing wrong with having a harmless crush on someone you know is unattainable, things can get messy when we actually pursue these men.

Here are a few risks of getting involved with an unavailable man:

  • Heartbreak: If the relationship doesn’t work out , it can be devastating.
  • Drama: When multiple people are vying for one person’s attention, there’s bound to be drama – especially if that person is married or in another committed relationship.
  • Unhealthy Patterns: Pursuing unavailable men repeatedly can lead to negative patterns in future relationships. It’s important to break this cycle as soon as possible.

How Can You Break the Cycle?

Breaking free from an attraction to an unavailable man isn’t easy, but it is possible. Here are a few tips:

  • Be Honest With Yourself: Is this really what you want? Or are you just chasing after something because it feels exciting?
  • Focus on Yourself: Instead of putting all your energy into someone who isn’t available, focus on yourself and things that make you happy.
  • Recognize Your Worth: You deserve someone who is fully committed and available – don’t settle for less than that.

The allure of unavailable men is undeniable – but ultimately unsustainable. Rather than getting caught up in the thrill of the chase, it’s important to recognize when someone simply isn’t available and move on. Remember – you deserve someone who is fully committed to being with you.

Unconscious Patterns in Dating

Dating can be a complex and often confusing adventure with many twists and turns. People are drawn to others for various reasons, but there are often unconscious patterns at play that guide our choices and decisions. These patterns can have a powerful influence on our relationships, leading us down paths we may not even realize we’re on.

What Are Unconscious Patterns?

Unconscious patterns are deeply ingrained beliefs or behaviors that shape our thoughts and actions without us realizing it. They can arise from past experiences, cultural conditioning, family dynamics, or even genetics. In the realm of dating and relationships, they manifest as tendencies or preferences that we attribute to personal taste but may actually stem from deeper psychological processes.

For example, someone who consistently chooses partners with commitment issues might be unconsciously drawn to that pattern because of unresolved attachment traumas from childhood. Another person might always seek out people who mirror their own insecurities because they feel comfortable in that dynamic.

The trouble with these patterns is that they can keep playing out until we become aware of them consciously. We keep attracting the same types of partners and stumbling over the same issues until we take inventory of what’s driving us beneath the surface level.

How Can You Identify Your Unconscious Patterns?

One way to identify your unconscious dating patterns is through self-reflection and introspection Ask yourself questions like:

  • What type of people do I typically find attractive?
  • What qualities do I admire in potential partners?
  • Do I notice any recurring themes or dynamics in my past relationships?
  • When do I feel safest or most vulnerable in romantic situations?

Pay attention to your gut reactions – what feels natural or “right” versus what triggers anxiety or uncertainty Though this process requires some honesty and humility because it can reveal uncomfortable truths about ourselves, it’s ultimately empowering to uncover the hidden forces shaping our lives.

Can You Change Your Unconscious Patterns?

The good news is that with awareness comes the potential to make different choices. Once you identify your unconscious patterns, you can start exploring why they exist and how they’ve impacted your life . With practice and patience, you can begin rewiring those old neuronal pathways by seeking out new experiences and redefining what feels “normal” in dating .

However, change isn’t always easy. It takes intentional effort and time; sometimes working with a professional can be helpful for navigating this process of self-discovery.

It’s also important not to beat yourself up about your patterns – everyone has them . They’re often rooted in deep-seated emotions that may have developed early in life beyond our control. Recognizing them is the first step toward healing and growth.

Dating is an adventure full of surprises , but understanding our unconscious patterns can help us navigate it more intentionally. By examining what drives us beneath the surface level, we gain insight into ourselves and open up possibilities for deeper connections with others .

At its core, dating is about exploring compatibility, intimacy, vulnerability and love—the things that make us human. Being aware of our own hidden driving forces helps us show up authentically while honoring who we are as individuals living complex lives striving to be seen honestly by another person٫ instead of pass around like Instagram stories .

So embrace those unconscious patterns!, look out for red flags , and keep an open mind. You never know – the next date might just be a lifetime partner or inspiration for your next Netflix and chill!

31992 - Why Do I Attract Taken Guys?
31992 – Why Do I Attract Taken Guys?

Need for Validation in Relationships

In every romantic relationship, the need for validation is an essential aspect that keeps the bond between couples strong. Validation is the act of giving recognition and acceptance to someone’s feelings, thoughts, and actions. It communicates that their opinions matter and are valued.

Without validation in relationships, one partner might feel neglected or unimportant. This feeling could lead to a sense of insecurity, doubt or even mistrust. Therefore it is vital to highlight why validation in relationships is necessary and how it can be achieved.

What does validation mean?

Validation means acknowledging another person’s experiences without necessarily agreeing with them. You validate by just listening attentively without any judgment or criticism; instead, you offer empathy and support.

It implies accepting other people’s different perspectives regardless of whether we agree with them or not. In most cases, individuals want to be heard more than being agreed with; they prefer to have their emotions acknowledged rather than dismissed.

When people feel validated in relationships, they experience a boost in self-esteem and become more open about expressing themselves without fear of judgment.

Why do People Seek Validation?

There are many reasons behind why individuals seek validation from others; here are some possible ones:

  • Low self-worth: People who lack confidence often look up to external sources instead of trusting themselves.
  • Past traumas: Individuals who may have faced earlier experiences where their feelings were rejected could still victimize these memories.
  • Desire for social bonding: Human beings are wired to desire social interactions, hence seeking out a connection through validating others or getting validations from others,
  • Fear of rejection: Fearful people tend only to do things if they knew what result it would produce beforehand—validation serves as clarity on people’s perceptions regarding specific aspects without rejection concern arising significantly.

How Is Validation Achieved?

In most cases:

Active Listening
One crucial way communication helps achieve emotional content is to use active listening skills. It requires attentiveness and the willpower to understand, not only accept what another person says without interruption.

Verbal Affirmation
In other cases, verbal affirmations can help reinforce or solidify someone’s feeling through a simple “I see” phrase such as:” That must have been so hard for you. “

Being Present in the Moment
It’s common experience that when with a partner doing activities together, it can be a demonstration of understanding one another’s motives, culture and interest that lead to validation even if we do not explicitly say so.

What are Specific Practices of Validating?

Bust outcomes from producing engagement with caring people who can build an intimate context wherein validating people shouldn’t be difficult but empowering instead. Below are some ways:

  • Empathize: One way of validating is by empathizing with them. Put yourself in their shoes and focus on how they feel.
  • Agree with the Feeling Instead: Individuals should confirm their partner ’s emotion non-judgmentally and then work towards providing options for resolving matters whilst decreasing personal resentment.
  • Practice Mindfulness: Paying attention fully rather than repetitively thinking about future activities promotes self-awareness as well as empathy.

Validation itself isn’t solely fueled by romantic partners; it also involves friends or employees/employers who want channel connections accurately. Validation validates expression, mechanisms, opinions where identifying perspective being likeable—people seen more likely similarly to interact better and exhibit healthier relationships hence validating people’s emotions should rather empower than drain us physically & mentally.

That was all folks.


Fear of Commitment in Self or Partner

Mention the word commitment to a group of single people, and you can almost hear them groan in unison. It’s like the last thing they want is to be locked down with one person for an indefinite period.

What is the fear of commitment?

Fear of commitment is a persistent and irrational fear that arises from becoming attached to someone romantically. It is not uncommon for people bereft of emotional stability to exhibit this kind of behavior.

Perhaps you’ve met someone who just does not seem interested in taking things further no matter how good things seem between both parties. Or maybe when everything seems perfect, they give excuses or come up with reasons why it just won’t work out. These are signs that point towards fear of commitment.

Basically, it’s all about being scared that choosing one person means missing out on other opportunities. It has nothing much to do with their self-esteem levels but rather their belief systems concerning relationships that happen behind closed doors.

Who exhibits the fear of commitment?

This type of behavior cuts across both men and women; there’s really no specific gender that displays it more than others. You could be dating someone for several months only to find out suddenly that all those “silly” little commitments were too much for them!

On the real though, any human being can exhibit this type of behavior as long as there are underlying trust issues surrounding their relationships.

What causes fear of commitment?

The root cause could stem from something small like poor role models growing up around love-struck parents nurturing controlling attitudes towards each other which leads children into believing grown-ups cannot “function” without exerting dominance over one another within romantic partnerships where they’re always looking down at each other and putting everything under a magnifying glass instead seeing everyday nuisances eye-to-eye making room forbearance & forgiveness even amidst disagreement because ultimately kindness wins but boy friendships win even more.

It could be due to past experiences like heartbreaks. The only time someone gets hurt is after someone has already invested a lot of their emotional capital too soon leading them on by bestowing intricate gifts upon you with all sorts of great compliments until at some point in the future, when they bail sending you into an emotional spiral that leaves you utterly alone and broken-hearted.

Another cause of fear of commitment is sticking to unrealistic and outdated expectations, including those surrounding gender roles within relationships.

How can one overcome the fear of commitment?

Like most anxieties, there are ways to conquer this relentless fear or overthinking. One solution might involve taking smaller steps towards building trust with your partner while also nurturing conversations that will help both parties become more aware of each other’s thoughts processes so they can start feeling comfortable sharing feelings more intimately but not yet fully immersing themselves in romanticism without carefully weighing up if it will last in the long term because no one wants another failure under their belt where professional & personal success aren’t being realized either then slowly helping each other achieve security & happiness through mutual respect and genuine caring for one another alongside mutual goals as a couple grounded in common sense.

One technique may include working on yourself by establishing healthy relationship templates i. e. , engaging in good habits followed always to maintain equilibrium between jointly maintaining your household finances, raising children together or conducting extended family visits harmoniously enjoying balanced social lives without closing anyone out.

Ultimately celebrating checkpoints like anniversaries while feeling prideful about now having something new which challenges us as individuals daily whilst fostering resilience without anyone giving up altogether but willing rather continuing toward self-improvement creating opportunities for self-love; offering gratitude whenever comfortably possible knowing true generosity comes from an open heart despite prior roadblocks along our journey allows freedom in relating authentically with other people whether romantically or otherwise engendering compassionate compromising behavior backed by empathy because we know everyone is doing their best even when it’s not enough how can we help each other rise to the occasion? How can we anticipate and prepare for obstacles instead of being thwarted by them?

What if your partner fears commitment?

This has got to be one of the most frustrating experiences anyone could go through – someone who seems perfect in every way except they feel held down whenever a significant level of commitment needs to be made.

If you find yourself in this situation, don’t despair! There are still solutions available like room sharing not precluding true intimacy allowing both parties the freedom of personal space fueling successful communication establish shared interests or possibly just giving it some time before jumping into anything serious again regardless because nobody wants more heartbreak only healing amidst genuine loving affection which might all arise organically depending on individual wills.

In extreme cases where neither party is willing to budge, it might just be better for each person involved if they have an honest conversation with themselves about what they want out of life then move ahead accordingly whether that means parting ways amicably or reducing involvement until comfortable expressing final feelings towards certain lasting issues before saying farewell.

In conclusion, fear of commitment may seem petty and childish at first glance. However, everything about our social conditioning trains us constantly to aspire towards security buying into slow-tempo euphoria lending validity towards “I think I found my soulmate” lines used frequently when thinking about a possible marriage partner ascribing almost limitless qualities onto their characteristics prematurely without clearly seeing little dilemmas needed addressing first. Nonetheless, this should not deter any human-being from pursuing love or finding help where necessary so you never know! Maybe that flirty comment back and forth on dating apps was more than just idle banter – after all maybe today’s match turns out now becoming tomorrow’s long lasting friendship/romantic partnership full satisfying passion & understanding alike proving growth-oriented quality relationships remain attainable even amidst contemporary personal-narratives born from societal shadow projections that seek to prevent authentic love but guess what? The idea remains resilient regardless, so let it flourish whenever possible.

Difficulty setting boundaries

Having trouble with setting boundaries is not uncommon. Whether it’s saying no to someone who asks for your time or dealing with a toxic relationship, setting boundaries can be challenging. In this section, we’ll discuss the reasons why some people struggle with setting boundaries and provide tips on how to improve boundary-setting skills.

Why do people have difficulty setting boundaries?

There are many reasons why individuals may face difficulties in establishing their limits:

  • Fear of rejection – They’re concerned that others will reject them if they set limits.
  • Codependency – They feel responsible for others’ feelings and anticipate the unpleasantness of confronting them.
  • Lack of self-esteem – They don’t value themselves enough and fear giving off unpleasant impressions or being perceived as selfish.
  • Cultural teachings – Some cultures emphasize group decision-making over individual needs or discourage speaking up.

By understanding these possible causes, one can better appreciate their own situation in regard to boundary-setting.

How can one overcome barriers to effective boundary-setting?

Here are some practical methodologies that you could attempt when you find it difficult to set bounds:

1. Figure out what your values are

Are there any specific things that matter a lot more than anything else? Principles like honesty, compassion, love, kindness, and spirituality tend to function frequently as an anchor which keeping oneself centered while exposing others preferences more straightforwardly. ). Utilize this information to identify where certain adjustments must be made depending on who you interact with dueitng socializing contexts).

2. Communicate Clearly

Outline precisely what behaviours appear intolerable for your own sake health-wise). and inform those close by so they become crystal clear about your expectations without hesitation).

3. Put yourself first

It’s all well-and-good focusing on other people but it is necessary not of paramount importance) once in awhileto focus on yourself. . Take note of your gut feelings of those key “red flags” while remaining true to one’s own personal and professional goals.

4. Get support where you can

Having external factors giving you sentiments of reliability- such as close relatives or therapists) – might really help in establishing boundaries effectively without having panic attacks).


Q: Is it okay to set boundaries that could hurt relationship with partners, friends or family?

A: While it is important to consider others feelings through communication, taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally remains just as important if not more so). Particular clarity sets a foundation upon which all healthy relationships are built.

Q: How do I take the first steps in changing my behaviour toward boundary setting?

A: To adjust one’s approach towards boundary-setting try visualising distinct groups based on individual needs. ). Weighing up alternatively other people against oneself health-wise will give essential clues regarding what changes to perform as well which communications must occur ensuring adjustments work for everybody concerned)

Q: Can boundary-setting reduce stress levels?

A: Yes! By channelling energy into finding strengths/powers within themselves, validating/reaffirming their limitations, people may free themselves from tension whilst rebuilding self-esteem.

Setting clear limits is an essential part of maintaining both mental wellness and successful interaction with others whether it be family, friends, romantic interests or colleagues. Incorporating open dialogue with compassion even if they are slightly awkward at first?). Remember: despite initial discomfort when leading towards affirmation rather than denial, rest assured because great benefits await for those who stick at it .