Which side of the bed should the wife sleep?

We’ve all heard it before: “Happy wife, happy life.” And while that may be true in some situations, when it comes to deciding which side of the bed each partner should sleep on, things can get a little complicated. It’s not just about comfort; there are emotional and psychological factors at play too.

So, what really is the best way for couples to decide?

The War Zone

From secretly elbowing your partner in their sleep, snoring like a chainsaw or stealing all the covers- we’ve all been through those difficult moments in sharing a bed with another human being. So why make matters even more stressful by having one partner consistently uncomfortable because they’re sleeping on an ill-favored side?

Picture this scenario: both partners agree to alternate sides every few months – husband starts on left side from January up until May then switches off with his missus who grabs his former position every June until September. Sounds simple enough right? That was until he discovers you toss and turn throughout your light cycle like a rotisserie chicken whilst she insists on keeping your room fit for an arctic expedition year-round. What started out as efficient system suddenly crumbles into chaos after only several weeks resulting in short-tempers and long-suffering dark circles around bloodshot eyes upon waking.

So how might we circumvent this arrangement grey area you might ask?

The Unwritten Rule

Let’s observe prevailing societal norms here today folks! Traditionally (not always), men slept on certain sides of beds primarily for their role as protectors against outside forces such as burglars/intruders etcetera whereas women typically occupied neighboring regions away from windows/outside walls contributing to feelings of security over bedroom environment amongst other reasons [1]. Although gender roles have come some ways since ancient times(due). This social standards seemingly has carried on even in this modern times – albeit unconsciously for some. Man on the left side, woman on the right- plain and simple.

A prime example of such convention can be observed from my dear grandparents whom have been married for a staggering 60 years! During our summer family vacations together I would spend most nights curled up under a handmade quilt with Nana whilst Pop’s coughing echoes could be heard reverberating off his bed against the window upstairs.

Ironically, no one ever explicitly communicated how they had come to their decision (sometimes it’s just easier when there is only two). They must have agreed by cosign and settling into their respective positions without further discussion. Naturally after half century napping together so often, who wouldn’t become fine-tuned with each other’s quirks?

But what else might we consider beyond societal factors?

Power Struggle

Is it possible that which side either partner has access to might affect power dynamics within the relationship?

We know now from historical data as well as anecdotes ,there are those who hold fundamental beliefs about certain sides being occupied by specific genders; whether they attribute it to safety or personal preference, such social programming still carries weight enough to cause friction during negotiations.

“80 percent of couples self-reported having an issue with sharing a bed,” according Dr Eric Haseltine PhD—a former senior executive at technology companies like Walt Disney Imagineering and head of intelligence research agency Intelligence Advanced Research Projects Activity (IARPA)—in his book “Long Fuse, Big Bang.” In fact he believes that sleeping issues generally “[are] reflective of deeper issues between people.” [2]

The topic quickly becomes less comical once you notice your own behavior while asleep directly feeds back into your waking life behaviors. A sense of vulnerability may arise if wife feel isolated away from wall or windows yet husband tells her she doesn’t need it- essentially denying her completely off whenever they discuss aspects of their life. Likewise, he may feel disregarded and insignificant at home if wife insists on occupying “his side”. Potentially causing issues with communication in all areas of the relationship.

Ultimately though, couples seeking to resolve bed space woes need to communicate candidly about what works best for them regardless of where tradition says you should sleep – trusting that both partners get enough rest so as not only survive the next day (with a stroke from lack-of-sleep), but also enjoy life together.

Other Variables To Consider

So we’ve covered societal norms and power dynamics within relationships…now let us explore some additional considerations.


Let’s be real, snores are terrible: Some people snore like chainsaws whilst others will simply wheeze softly like an asthmatic hippopotamus most nights between 2-3 am- irregardless it’s irritating at best annoying throughout the course of an evening! While this might sound irrelevant t first glance I can tell you your significant other would disagree!

Some suggestions include sleeping head-to-toe or utilizing separate bedrooms…although remove any temptation for infidelity during periods apart!

Non-Symmetrical Beds:

In case any one partner is ever struggling for uninterrupted ZzzzZZZs due to non-symmetrical stress lines running horizontally across mattress surface underneath body that make sleeping on either end challenging don’t shy away from flipping bed 180 degrees around every once in a while: have feet facing towards headboard instead avoid muscle pains overreacting violently against trespassers in dreamland.

Temperature preferences:

Do you burn up under too many blankets? Does your spouse resemble frostbitten ice cube every morning after exposing themselves overnight? This can easily be resolved with heavy discussions outlining how each person likes their own temperature regulated throughout evening until contentment reached by BOTH parties.

Comfort Levels:

One partner may be completely happy with slight incline/decline of bed frame whereas other half considers anything less than a stiff board as unacceptable. Don’t wait until sore backs to have an honest conversation about what makes each person comfortable throughout their sleep time.

Our Conclusion

In conclusion, is there really a right side for wives (or husbands) to sleep on? Well –no! There isn’t any one-size-fits-all approach to this age-old question. Instead, it simply comes down to personal preference which can differ from couple to couple due to varying factors such as: heat-tolerance and privacy concerns amongst others [3]. At the end of day mutual respect needs remain present in order maintain productive relationship built upon individual consideration for one’s self and also partner whilst sharing same space – namely your cozy little nest spot where you lay your head every single evening made just YOUR way!

With that being said- hit the hay everyone!

[1] Diamond, Jamie (2011). Penis Power: The Ultimate Guide To Male Sexual Health. Westport, Connecticut: Praeger Publishers.
[2 & 3] Fortune Contributor Gaby [email protected] June 7, 2020 –10:30 AM EST “The real reason couples share a bed—and a sex therapist’s advice on how best to do it”.