What is a toilet seat bidet?
Let’s talk about the epitome of luxury – toilet seat bidets! If you’ve ever wondered what a toilet seat doohickey that squirts water up your bum is, then look no further. In this article, we’ll explore everything from the sunrise of toiletry history to how modern-day minotaurs elevate their bathroom experience with ass-cleaning technology.
A Briefing on Toilets throughout History
Toilets have undergone quite an evolution since the first plumbing system was invented in 2500 BC by the Indus Valley Civilization. Like any good masterpiece, it all started with simplicity: a bucket and brush for cleaning oneself after doing nature’s business. Fast forward several millennia and Japan was at the forefront of advancing hygiene technology again by developing squat toilets during World War II.
Nowadays, there are plenty of bells and whistles available for those seeking more technologically advanced commode experiences than those our forefathers enjoyed like heated seats or singing noises (saves on TP usage). However, one feature that stands out above all others among today’s comfiest johns is a slightly creepy robotic arm protruding just behind where one would park their posterior…that humble apparatus we know as the bidet.
From Humble Beginnings to Modern-Day Innovation
Bidets originated in France back when Henry III ruled Europe (1574-1589), who had his underlings import them from Italy because cleanliness is king/queen/etc! Since then they have spread across Western Europe & Asia gaining varying degrees popularity depending on region/culture such as ranges between “absolutely necessary” to “intriguing but freaky.” It wasn’t until recently that American’s showed interest too closely examining cleansers-in-bum functionality & decided these foreign contraptions may also help combat covid19-induced toilet-paper scarcity!
Thus began the rise of the toilet seat bidet. Essentially, it’s an attachment that mounts to your average porcelain throne and can include features such as a heated seat, air-dryer feature, nightlight, and more! They offer some distinct benefits such as reducing irritation from repeated wiping or inefficient cleaning resulting in unfortunate situations. But what exactly is happening down there? How does this high tech machine clean you?
Let Us Break It Down
So just how does one use a bidetto effectively flush out their nether regions? Are we subjected to water pressure that could propel us off our pedestal like Supes at full speed? Well actually — no! There are several different types of toilets seats & corresponding spray patterns which cater specifically for each individual’s bottom based on water pressure applied by knobs/dials/settings – there will always be something perfect for everyone!
Aside from that crucial user-dependant adjustment period (no pun intended), here’s how it works: When seated atop the oval throne with pre-setup besproingity device attached beneath undercarriage (cleaned prior!), You’ll simply have to adjust controls corresponding precisely how intense-spray preferd regarding location (most have oscillation etc options). These devices typically operate using warm tap-water fed into unit reservoir then squirted thoroughly yet gently upward where desired cleansing achieved. Say goodbye forevermore those uncomfortable moments when scratching butt on nearby carpet because missed some spots.
Bringing Luxury Home
If elaborately-journaled excretions had never crossed your mind before now /you used wipes but got weary paying $10-per-roll/try plowing forward with investment researching these indigestional advancements towards smoother sailing inside personal sanctuary. In summary they present opportunity try something new risk-free without major renovations household budget!
So let’s take stock again: Instead of using mere scratch-pad equivalents upon finishing up doing battle against #2 a luxurious upgrade awaits users curious enough to explore. The toilet seat bidet offers convenience in your home and is quite easy to install as well, merely twist through bolts until clicks tight upward shenanigans commence!
The Final Flush
So now you understand the ins-and-outs of the toilet seat bidet – its history, how it works exactly & why all cowboys came when they finally realized how clean etc their asses would be with one.
It’s time for YOU tooo embrace these newfangled advancements in hygienic technology; you may never again have need sticky remnants from inside hangin’ off body parts after final curtain call performance on throne. Remember: if person next door already installed them – possibly mortuary employees nearby also using—not an excuse NOT join trend-be happy bum/happy life!