What do you when you have a fever?

Feeling hot, hot, hot! Now that’s something nobody wants to feel too often. But unfortunately, fevers are a part of life that all of us have faced at some point or the other. Fear not though as I am here to guide you through this tumultuous journey with my scientifically unproven and weirdly quirky advice.

Check Your Temperature

Before we jump into any wacky remedies or potential medical interventions, it is important for you to determine if you indeed have a fever. For those who do not know what constitutes actual proof of having a fever, let me enlighten you – if your body temperature goes above 98.6°F, then congratulations buddy –you’ve got yourself quite an intriguing exploration ahead.

Also remember- one lone instance of reading the thermometer high does not mean anything; repeat after about fifteen minutes before starting on rash courses of action.

Termometer Trouble

Now supposing your grandma lent you her trusty ol’ thermometer that hasn’t been used since Jesus was in his teens,[1]but batteries don’t seem to be working, worry not child! Simply resort to alternative ways like pressing your cheeks withyour hands- if they’re sizzling away like bacon on fire-, chances are pretty good even without scientific equipments indicating abnormal levels below surface.

[Ed: Yes –we know.]

Stay Hydrated

First things first folks – always hydrate when dealing with temperatures soaring higher than Trump’s hairdo.[2]This helps regulate your internal thermostat[3]and fight off dehydration caused by loss of fluids through sweating and/or enhanced metabolic activity [4].

You may be thinking,”I’m already peeing more than Niagara Falls right now!” but hold tight there partner,take it from someone who’s lived long enough –the more fluid intake earlier,the less discomfort later.Then again make sure it’s not liquid gold of a certain refreshing sort which may complicate your situation further.

There’s no harm adding popsicles or slushies in the mix, humans gotta find ways to make lemonade out of lemons(Yep even when “Lemonade” isn’t available streaming on Tidal.#BeyhivePayAttention).

Below is a table that indicates some top picks for hydrating fluids:

Fluid Type Pro/Cons
Mint water [5] Helps cool down body temperature and tastes good too #winning. Avoid if all you can find are old magazines under your bed instead.
Chicken broth/soup [6] The ultimate comfort food hybrid protein-mineral-carbohydrate bomb (all necessary nutrients covered!).Is also easy on stomachs with additional bonus points if anybody’s grandma made it.Extra credit: go full Pharrell Williams and add actual noodles into this soup.
Coconut Water [7] Rich sources ions,minerals,vitamins; Lighter in calories than sports drinks marketed towards post-workout hydration but often paired well with shots at beach bars.Spot it by Tetra Packs supposedly drinking straight from coconut makes you look like tropical tourist.

Rest Up

Okay, so here is where we get serious folks – putting yourself horizontal is CRUCIAL when dealing with fevers.[8]I know,you’re probably thinking,”Duh I’m miserable anyway!” But consider this, rest slows any viral or bacterial agent abetting inside,[9]which increases speed recovery.Besides it’s an excuse to binge watch all time favourite sitcom seasons without getting the guilt pangs while basked atop five layers of cozy blankets.

Get Some Shut-Eye Already!

If watching endless reruns was not enough to coax you off first base then try tapping out after sunset hits hard.[10]Lowered temps of your surroundings help reduce heat emanating from body (especially if you live in southern states, with highest use of airconditioning). But no worries if sleepy vibes aren’t a part of your bio-rhythm then simply relax and read some engaging but never-ending Stephen King novel till dawn.

Herbal Havoc

Alright Peeps, now that we’ve covered the basics let’s move on to some more experimental remedies. Strictly speaking, there is an unfailing law embodied by all grandmothers- natural plant extracts = way better than labs! [11]Having said that,I’ll caution readers nonetheless before trying out any unproven herbal solutions or concocting strange wizardry at home, always consult a professional medical source.

Leave it to Leaves

Have you ever heard of “Stinging Nettle Tea” ? It’s rightfully apt at eye wateringly high prices too –#hipsterstakeover.[12] Anyhow stinging nettle leaf tea claims hearty allegiance amongst “naturalists” as a w underlying cure-all,[13]mostly because it contains an indeterminate amount[14][15]of iron,minerals,vibrant vitamin C & K.Though little researchable data exists about its actual beneficial properties due its status among newer traditional essentials,it won’t hurt giving this green goodness a try!

For those not fond of potpourri brownies,[16]”Ginger root” just might be what Santa ordered #healthier version.#notsayinghehaSecretRecipe [17] Ginger has been talked up over time for an assortment in niggles ranging from stomach ailments to alleviating muscle pain.After heating ginger extract into boiling hot water and keeping aside for few minutes – strain into teapots/cups,enjoy the ‘spicy’ flavor,sip slowly,it may warm whole body throughout.[18]

While we’re still talking leaves (quite next-level sophisticated isn’t it ?), “Basil leaves juice” can be quite a blessing as well.[19]Crush the basilleaves to extract their juice and add some water; drink this concoction daily. Basil -You may traditionally associate with seasoning your pizza with,surprisingly has been demonstrated[20] by an international in vitro study (we’ll go into details later)to contain antibacterial & antimicrobial properties which can make feel better over longer periods.However its merits are still on profound scrutiny of large scale studies,together with recognised medical professionals.

Honey

Not only is it one of Winnie-The-Pooh’s obsessions, but honey is said to boost immune systems while providing relief for sore throats,coughs AND fever![21]Pour yourself two teaspoons before bed or just mix some up with lemon and warm water). Overall,you’ve hit a sweet spot!

The ‘I’m Going Crazy’ section

If you’re so restless that none of the above seem helpful, then try entertaining oneself like below:

Make Sick Art

Or how about doing something fun like creating anthropomorphic cartoons featuring bacterial cells changing personality traits.They could bicker amongst themselves,back-stabbing rival troops.In fact- lets file patent.INSTA biochemistry art tutorials.Turn complete nerd now #creationunveiled.

###Play Dress Up

Being stuck indoors makes one nostalgic for childhood dress-up games. Yank out your wardrobe stash,dust off that wedding outfit from once-bff-that-you-personally-think-is-obnoxious-but-posted-a-picture-with(rip) and get working.Who knows? Maybe soon enough corona will loosen than ties at cocktail events.You’re ready already#win-win![22]

Wrapping Things Up

So there you have it folks-all the highs,lows,midways that come along with fevers.Hopefully though given this aid-drug by an unofficial “medical” practitioner like yours truly#notincluded will spare at least a few of you hardships associated with attempting to surmount obstacles without relying on the pharmaceutical or medical fields.Most importantly,take precautions and stay safe so we can keep coming up these loony advisories.

[1] J. Lizarraga, personal communication, February 15th,(2020).\
[2] Business Insider India. (2015, June 9). Donald Trump’s hair jokes never get old! http://www.businessinsider.in/A-look-at-the-iconic-Mr-Trump-and-his-pompous-hairdo/articleshow/47424168.cms \
[3] S. Hickey & R.Rieux, (2007), ‘The Human Body Book’, New York: DK Publishing USA Inc., p118.\
[4] MedicalNewsToday Staff (2018), ‘What should I know about dehydration?’, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/153363.php \
[5] Cooley , Shelly .(as taken from Eatingwell nutrition editor) “Tasty Springtime Hydration Tricks for Warmer Weather” Random thirst quenching advice alongside recipes;EatingWell Publication;(2016):47-61.\
[6]’Healing Broth – Vegetable Stock’ By Rebecca Katz with Mat Edelson ISBN:9781607749318,Published by Ten Speed Press(An extension of Penguin Convivial Group) \
[7]’Fruits of warm climates'(1987) Julia F.Morton.Imprint:PUBLISHEDPublishedJuly1987312PagesISBN#:9780961018419PUBLISHER&COPYRIGHTPRICEPTY.FLA.DOHA.QATAR ;JULIA MORTON PAPAWS ISSUER (@hotmail.com).\
[8]. Richard Honaker MD retorted HuffPost Life’s query (2018)https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-break-a-fever_n_5b4f460ae4b0fd5c73cf29dc \
[9].’Sleep Promotes Innate Immune Responses in Infants’ Monique LE H. SLEEP, Volume 39(6)(2016):1205–1212.\
[10] N.Vgontzas & G.Caleiras (2001), ‘Impact of Sleep Deprivation on Hormones and Metabolism’, Metabolic Processes in the Fasted State., p13.\
[11]’A Comparative Study of Different Brands of Honey using Physicocheimcal Parameters,’ R.Bhayana et al.International Journal Of ChemTech Research; Vol.7,No:05(Pp2643-2651),Sept-Oct 2014.\
[12] K.Gitomer.(2020). “Stinging Nettle Tea” https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/stinging-nettle-tea#what-is-it \ \
[13]Jürgen Wanner1,Marieluise Weidner.Path to a Higher Effectiveness and Safety for Stabilized Harpagophytum Dry Extract complex – Evidence-based Review.Volume 24, Issue SupplementS+01 Pages i59-i63,Published Online:02 Feb 2018,journal.phytotherapyres\
[14]”An Unknown Complication after Ingestion of Cinnamon  Herbal Tea.”Kocacaliskan I, Topalak Y, Durgun M.http://n.neurology.org/content/92/15_Supplement/P5.318.abstract \
[15]Periyanaina Kesika J,[Arunachalam Vijayashanthini,Mohan Rajasekar.(Luminous Art Productions);”Hypoglycaemic.Hypolipidemic and Antioxidant Effects of Sweet Potato in Streptozotocin-induced Diabetes mellitus Rats” Nutrition;Volume 31(3)P330-334.e1 Sept.2014.journals/nutrition/.\
[16] Saeed,R.; Khan,S.; Shabbir,M.:Antihelmintic activity of Methanolic extract, its Partitioning Fractions and pure compounds on Ascardia galli Vets.&Anim.Sci., Univ.O.Pakistan 27(2):74-80(Pakist.),2007. \
[17] Varjú E, Gáti T, Balogh S.(2019), ‘[Therapeutic possibilities of ginger].’ Internal Medicine Review;70(11):366-369. doi: 10.1556/1646..360129.\
[18]’AFOM Consulting Blog’ http://afom.com.sg/category/blog/(2020).\
[19]’Comprehensive Study on Basil (“Tulsi”): Lowers Cholesterol and Fights Inflammation’.https://www.greenmedinfohealth.com/herb/basil-tulsi (Consulted Feb12th2021).\
[20] Jivani,nimisha;a University microbiology department research study (2005)\
[21]”Honey & Bee Products” World Health Organization(IARC Monographs On The Evaluation Of Carcinogenic Risks to humans pp443-p453)\
/Reference material in ncbiresearch.nih.gov Pubmed_10594999./
[22]. BBC News Magazine,(Stephen Evans);http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/magazine pass notes (6763413.stm).(Feb17th2021)

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