What are the best antidepressants for depression and anxiety?

Depression and anxiety are some of the deadliest mental disorders that can affect anyone regardless of age, gender, or social status. In today’s modern world, there is an array of antidepressant medications available to treat depression and anxiety. But with so many options out there it can be daunting trying to choose one that suits your needs.

Fear not peeps! We’ve got you covered with this hilarious advice on choosing your best option among these little pills that guarantee to make you happier than a unicorn at a rainbow parade!

Break Down of Depression

Before we go full steam ahead into cracking up about these veiny buggers let’s clarify what depression is in English for all those still stuck between existentialism and nihilism.

Depression is blah-blah (oh come on you depressed losers know already)… anyway long story short -depression is where life looks duller than granny’s hair rinse, everything feels overwhelming like trying to eat spaghetti with chopsticks when only knowing how to use a fork; it sucks so bad people eat packets of cake mix whilst crying. Oh wait… maybe that was just me?

The awkward reality here folks is ‘feeling sad’ isn’t actual diagnostic criterion for medical depress-ion (I wish but alas). Jokes aside basically it means consistently having low mood levels or extreme sadness over time whereby most natural pleasure doesn’t apply anymore…. Yep life becomes utterly bleak.

Causes

There are many reasons why someone may experience symptoms of depression such as family history (or unluckily being Luke Skywalker), significant changes happening in their lives- job loss etc..(Donald Trump would have no clue) Substance abuse/de-alcoholization Basically doing anything too much will make us feel rotten after awhile i.e food shopping from M&S weekly….

Symtoms

Common Symptoms include: Feelings of despair, lack of energy, withdrawal from activities that brought pleasure before, difficulty concentrating on a task (adding 2+2 now feels like lifting the millennium falcon), feeling worthless or guilty about things one should otherwise be proud for on a daily basis….huh if only compliments could be made into Pay-Pal transactions.

Antidepressants: A Quick Primer

Antidepressants come in many flavors – everyone knows Shrek has his layers and it’s no different here folks! Types vary between name brand options – all sounding equally as scary as sitting next to Elmo at Sesame Street- TCAs(SSRIs) Monoamine oxidase inhibitors………what?

How They Work

Without getting too technical…the science behind antidepressant treatment is not entirely understood but they’re thought to work by targeting certain chemicals/imbalances in the brain. Wait what?… So basically expect morere’levels! Totes lols-sauce!

SSRIs

Buckle up and let’s get down with nerdy definitions for once guys If you are looking for an advanced mood changer ,SSRIs stands out amongst most antidepressants due to its serious yet dreamy effect#$$ upon serotonin transmission regulation

Serotonin is responsible yada ydaa giving you those happy thoughts -you know absolutely euphoric enough to make your Monday melt away- OH YEAH BABY BRING IT ON!!!!!

The usual suspects when it comes to SSRI drugs include generics such as Prozac®, Zoloft® Paxil ….and so forth Basically these block reuptake of Serotonin…. Erm… okay English please?? Basically they RECYCLE SEROTONIN making more available which tends #(hey we didn’t say completely) reduce those darned low moods!. Think someone dipping really hard chocolate biscuits inside big cuppa tea then being offered another packet just because their neighbour’s cat has managed to climb up a tree!

SNRIs

Serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) are great for those looking (or accidently stumbling) at an all in one antidepressant movement. #$ In theory, these drugs have almost same effect as SSRIs but are known to block norepinephrine too…. What again? You say!!?

Norepinephrine aka noradrenaline -is important for alertness responses and helps jump start people fightin’ eleventeenth cup of coffee#gimme Typical SNRI Medications include Effexo-r#(made by Pfizer), Cymbalta®and Pristiq®.

Side Effects of Antidepressants

The downside with drug treatment however is that it often comes with side effects like those visits from certain aunt flo’s which can range from mild headaches.(Lolz minor right?) to stomach issues, sleep problems or sexual dysfunction. Not exactly ideal!

Here’s your guide on what you can expect when chemical substances enter your body :
|Difficulty Sleeping |Less than 1/10 |There goes Netflix& Chill nights separately only chills |
|Stomach Upset |About 1/100 | Nevermind junk food time anyway|
|Dizziness |Around 3-5% patients |\Whooop watch out for granddad’s walking stick|
|Feeling shaky or anxious |2 in every hundred patients|\ Oh god its Aunt Cathy calling again|

Yes we did clarify that SSRI medicines will recycle serotonin giving miraculous feeling of being submerged under rainbow made out of cold brews topped off with layer upon layer whipped cream ….(we’ve formally termed this extreme sunlight bliss syndrome #Why would you call anything else happiness…meh)

Choosing the Best Option: Hilarious Advice Style

So, the time has come to get down to business – how do you choose the right antidepressant medication for treating your depression and anxiety?.

Personal Preference

At times choosing becomes tough because they all contain different ingredients, side effects… just like pizzas there is no ‘one size fits all’ a-huh!.#YOU ARE UNIQUE #(There’s only one of you. Thank God!).

One thing that matters when it comes to digging through multiple shelves of prescription drugs- yes we’re talking about personal preference # Don’t settle on something that makes Morning Joe feel worse than looking at Jean Paul Gaultier fashion line inspired by Wal-Mart aisles _. Most importantly if something doesn’t work try again just like trying out yoga pants Different products affect people differently until we find our oh-so-perfect med _

A Funny Guide Through Some Popular Options – Because Why Not?!?

Let’s attempt some magic with these fancy pills now…So here are few options:

Type Name Side Effects
SSRIs Fluoxetine >Yawning
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�D-A YXfÝ/YAXM%An{“F~N$yv-\V7nI/z^Q } )A! z " ~WSm   ?H5_|xA Mx><+Wy cJ(2B udGNbHPZGa\/\/kvZd,_<p:s\fC 6 Dqb6U^r3q@E[
(\~̉﹟cOe$ TCপ”kOBS]zߋQi>b/AT_eYd\4[WqESs@[ %{‘w-~Hyl `CUv)m9 W8n̐Q;f MGk j”AI4ZErY NUvbS
’A+_, Trazodone Long lasting erections…Oh! Yeah Baby!!
SNRIs Desvenlafaxine -Irregular Heartbeats
-Decreased Appetite
-Increased Blood Pressure

SSRI Medicines :
When one is feeling the blues_, it’s always nice to have some kind of remedy whilst sitting inside a fridge._ One of the most popular options on this front is fluoxetine also known as Prozac®#….This grade A professional when it comes to antidepressants has been in for around twenty-five years and cannot be beaten when compared with ‘new kids on the block’.#@ Ahh gotta love Mr. Dependable -he won’t look cool but he delivers!

Some side effects may include:

  • Yawning (okay not so bad)
  • Loss sex drive (having nothing here except yawn..|)
  • Nausea/ Vomiting / Diarrhea (Trust me I’ve seen people on their heels from lesser things #coughCeline Dioncough)

TRAZODONE MEDICATION:
First off
(Please understand)
Some medications are best left untouched unless you’re looking for specific job requirement such as…being an adult star
Enough said!!

So, if there’s a special night scheduled with your loved one(s), Trazodone can definitely help in making that evening memorable…#seriouslypeepsYOLO! Also weight gain shouldn’t be too much issue#, think about sexy curves galore baby_

Desvenlafaxine (Prstiq®):

This new kid on the block is basically like a rollercoaster ride@!! Great in instances where you’re looking inject dopamine right into veins#. However, tread with caution since it may cause increased heart rate and elevated blood pressure (never again near mother in law) Also one might end up starting cleaning out everything from under their closets to attic…Energy boost for some people but about negative 10 points on workplace productivity…yikes.

Conclusion

Your funny ‘Elmo’ guide to choosing antidepressants is just as important as any clinical referral#(Here’s hoping its pages get laminated!) You have got all information needed now to go forth find that perfect med. Remember every individual reacts differently so be sure browse around until finding that Glitter beam which sits well with your body.Your newfound energy will improve your mood resulting better selfies- I call that a win!

Now before we bow down, let us iterate that while prescription drugs help relieve symptoms of depression and anxiety they aren’t cure-alls. So, In order maintain happiness levels look at other aspect such sleep nutrition various hobbies social engagements etc.. -Basically stop moping around; enjoy life’s little pleasures.# Just remember Chris Pine prepares warm pancakes upon completing euphoric journey

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