Think Twice: What I Say vs. What I Think
We all say things we shouldn’t have said, and it can be a disaster when what we really meant slips out instead of the niceties that were expected by others around us. In this pandemic era, a soft-spoken ‘excuse me’ is worth more than melted gold, but sometimes our spoken words don’t come with such grace. Here’s what you need to know – think twice.
The Brain-Balkanizing Cocktails We Drink
Our brain dumps an algebraic expression in front of us every time we interact: let the tongue wag or draw back depending on which will work best for its owner in terms of social gain and impact. Result? A brain-balkanizing cocktail!
Finding Social Pain-Gain Points
Every interaction moves away from being truthful to prioritizing maximum benefit from them for one party involved at least if not both But how do people find these pain-gain points?
Some hardexponents tools:
- “deep personal values“: “The human experience must evoke feeling within me because my personality imbues everything i feel with so much conviction“
- Public believes
- Ethos & respect (or lack thereof)
Here’s a great example – hot button issue! You risk becoming enemy number #1 quickly after stepping into mud like discussing politics(Brexit cough cough), measles shots alongside parenting choices(definitely sore spots!)emotions aside.
Before Speaking Strikes Good Palate
To avoid regret after blurting something scandalous or completely contradictory to your belief system out, follow these quick tips:
1) Let Anticipation Kick In ”
“How would tweeting x statement bring me closer to my goals?”
2) Copy-editor mode on:
“Is this assertive rather than offensive?”
3) Play Tic-tac-Toe
“Withdrawing nothing negative while saving yourself energy draws trust and lets the other party gain the edge.”
Pair-Bond: You Wear Your Thoughts
It’s essential to be aware of what you say when it comes to your partner. A casual comment said without any bad intention could come off as brutal honesty or criticism that hinders their self-esteem.
A few examples from somebody in a happy relationship:
- Instead of saying “You need to join me for workouts” Say “I Miss Spending Time With You”
- Instead of implying ‘you belong here’, go with something like this – Embracing canopied outgrowths overhead & listening soundtrack around us is one tickle fight kind-of-lovely.
- Don’t Say “Your Attitude Stinks!” Just Simply Ask Them Why They Are Acting Gloomy.
The way we communicate and how it lands on other people is often unpredictable. Remember, think twice before uttering anything as a slip-up can cause quite an uproar!