Spare me the funny: Hilarious quotes about borrowing cash!

Are you desperate for some cash right now? Are you ready to do anything but find a job to make ends meet? Well, don’t worry because we’ve got a list of hilarious quotes and jokes that will put a smile on your face! No need to feel ashamed or embarrassed – everyone has been through a rough financial patch at one point in their lives. So, without further ado, let’s dive into some humorous quips and comebacks for when your friends or family ask you to lend them some money.

“I’m not sure I can borrow any more…”

“My wallet is like an onion… every time I open it, I start crying.” This timeless joke perfectly captures how we all feel when we’re running out of funds yet again. Sometimes, it feels like no matter how much money we earn or save up, there’s always something that comes up unexpectedly which puts us back at square one.

“Why can’t they just pay me back?”

“Women are like ATM machines – once you take out the money; you never know when they’ll give it back.” Ouch! Even though this quote might be seen as sexist by some people, its underlying message hits home for anyone who’s ever lent someone else money without receiving repayment quickly enough.

“Is there such thing as too much kindness?”

“There are two kinds of people – those who owe you money and those who borrow from banks.” Indeed, sometimes lending someone else money can be an extremely risky business if they don’t have good credit history or any chance of paying everything back in full later down the line. While generosity is always appreciated among friends and families alike†‡§‰!

“Why does everyone only want my cash?”

“A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it starts to rain.” Ahhh…the infamous banks. We often hear people complain about how finance institutions prey on those who are already in debt or struggling financially; however, their terms and conditions can be so daunting that it’s almost a guarantee you’ll end up owing them more than what was initially borrowed.

“It’s tough being the only responsible one!”

“I lent my friend $20,000 for plastic surgery. I never heard back from him again after he refused to pay me back.” Yikes! This quote is funny because it highlights just how ridiculous some requests can be, especially when someone asks you to loan them money with no prospect of payment in return†‡§‰!

“Sometimes laughter is the best medicine.”

“You know times are tough when your friends ask if they owe you anything and not if they paid you everything” Bazinga! There’s nothing like poking fun at our own financial struggles to help promote good humor around an otherwise tense topici

“Your family will always be there for support…”

“The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket”. It might sound silly, but this joke serves as a reminder that sometimes lending hard-earned cash isn’t always worth the amount of hassle or stress that comes along with trying to get reimbursed.

“It’s all about perspective.”

“Lending money has been likened borrowing self-esteem – when we lend out too much we start becoming insecure ourselves!” Maybe by gently teasing each other over our experiences regarding debt †‡§‰, we may all feel less alone and helpless amidst our own financial battlesiii.

How Can You Really Know When To Lend A Helping Hand?

Well now that we’ve gone through some humorous takes on lending out cash…how do YOU really decide whether or not somebody deserves YOUR precious dough? Well don’t worry folks- here are FIVE INSIDER tips that will surely put your worries at ease:

  1. Always listen to what somebody has to say – You may not be able or willing to give them all the funds they need, but perhaps you can help steer them in another direction towards other possible resources

  2. Keep an open mind – There is no need for judgment here! Listen carefully without bias and then make a decision based on the facts presented

  3. Do not lend unless you have some sort of collateral in place unless its silliness that makes situations worse instead of alleviating financially stressful scenarios.

  4. Under no circumstances lend more than what YOU can afford!

  5. Lastly, it’s ok if you aren’t comfortable lending out any money! Just be honest with yourself and communicate directly with those asking so that there are no misunderstandings regarding expectations between both parties involved.

“It’s just impossible to always know who deserves our hard-earned cash.”

“Never lend money; only gift it…that way we avoid losing friends for lent change.” And sometimes even still, things get strained when trying to make decisions about which “worthy” cause gets priority over others!

What NOT To Do When Lending Cash Out!

Speaking of making wrong choices let us go through FIVE common practice errors when lending someone else your dough †‡§‰:

1) Avoid giving them cash outright: It looks good externally‚ but giving people something tangible without prior clarification might come back badly,

2) Using aggressiveness as leverage over debtors: AKA Emotional Blackmail (here comes the guilt trip). Seriously guys; nobody likes being backed into cornersiii !

3) Delaying repayment myself frustrated feelings followed by embarrassment: Equally important is providing transparency upfront about what happens after loan collection deadline passes

4) Not Getting Terms Down In Writing For Bigger Amounts. Oral agreements failing because one party remembers differently from how things were conveyed before time passed can get really awkward if problems come up!

5) Lastly not acknowledging potential problems: Maybe there’s financial stress so don’t just assume requesting loans is a harmless request. Do some extra research or set temporal deadlines beforehand rather than advancing money impulsively.

“All in all the decision can just be tough.”

“If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” If only borrowing funds were as easily resolved by setting up recurring automated withdrawal every week from your account instead of trying to keep track of missed repayments †‡§‰

Ways To Get Creative When Lender Trouble Arises

Seeing eye-to-eye on issues surrounding cash lending can be stressful and cause strain between parties involved (not unlike those blistering friend fights against banks we talked about earlier). Here are five clever solutions that have worked for many:

1) Try crowdfunding platforms or peer‐to‐peer services i.e Zopa that provide easier loan arrangements with flexible plans, better credit models & generally involve less hassleiii!

2) Construct joint agreements detailing expectations upfront. In essence, create awareness and transparency regarding how finances will be managed prior to any distribution requests being received

3) Seek mediation through independent arbitration specialist iii ! You’ll avoid other potential legal actions while ensuring both parties reach mutually beneficial agreement together.

4) Join valuable online support groups where people share their experiences openly once significant monetary situations arise†‡§‰;

5) Use debt management consultation services which help assess what individuals’ level headedness facing difficult choices might look like before costly outcomes end-up feeling inevitableiii.

It’s Time To Wind Up This Journey Down Memory Lane

Well folks- it sure was fun taking this little journey down memory lane putting humor into context around an otherwise challenging topic – borrowing cash! While admittedly challenging financially during a time such as the Covid pandemic; at least we laughed a bit amidst our struggles. Whether you are borrowing or lending, always remember to keep honest and open communication channels between individuals involved and set clear terms beforehand; all the while keeping that solid humour alive in dark moments!

So, next time one of my ‘broke’ friends asks for a loan, I’ll just say –
“Don’t ask me about a loan again…my purse is covered under COVID insurance”!

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