Quotable Trust Issues: Wise Words for the Mistrustful

Trust is a delicate thing, much like a snowflake or your ex’s ego. While it can take years to build up trust in someone, it only takes one tiny misstep to shatter that trust into a million little pieces. And once it’s broken, rebuilding that trust can be next to impossible. So for those of us who have been burned before and are now inherently mistrustful of others (and let’s face it, we’re legion), here are some wise words from famous people throughout history on how to navigate our jaded existence.

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Ah yes, good ol’ Friedrich never minced his words – he was probably one of those guys who would leave passive aggressive notes on the office fridge if someone stole his sandwich. But his quote hits home for anyone who has ever been lied to by someone they trusted (which is pretty much everyone over the age of 5). It’s easy to focus solely on the fact that someone lied but sometimes it helps if we also acknowledge how hurtful their actions were towards us.

“I do not mistrust the future; I do not fear what is ahead. For our problems are large but our heart is larger.” – George H.W. Bush

While this quote might seem overly optimistic at first glance (especially given its source – remember when politicians used big fancy words instead of rage tweeting?), it points out an important facet about being generally suspicious towards other people: The biggest loss isn’t necessarily just losing faith in them (although let’s face it–that sucks),but also losing faith in ourselves and society as a whole.The world could use more hope these days than paranoia.

“It’s almost worth having been in the army for the joy your freedom gives you.” – Mitch Hedberg

Evidently, this particular quote seems to have a different meaning than just being mistrustful of people. But let’s read between the lines here: it’s not necessarily that we don’t trust anyone – sometimes it’s just that we hold ourselves back because of past hurts or actions done by friends,family members,colleagues or ex-partners (pretty much everyone except your dog). Maybe we’ve become so fixated on what others could do to us that we forget our own capacity for happiness and joy.

“A paranoid is someone who knows a little of what’s going on.” – William S. Burroughs

This statement might seem almost paradoxical at first glance. But when you think about it, if everything in life was rosy then why would there be reason for suspicion? We are naturally wired with an evolutionary sense for detecting threats-this has kept humans alive since way before capitalism shrank our free-time.

“I pride myself in being an honest person but I’ve come to realize that honesty doesn’t mend broken trust.”- A.W Livingston

As clichéd as the old adage ‘honesty is the best policy’ is,it can actually ring very true especially when trying to build trust with someone else. However like Mr.Livingston says sometimes (as much as we’d want) telling them every detail will not automatically repair any damage thats been caused.Trust isn’t only built on words;actions play equal parts.To make sure they know you’re taking their concerns seriously, showing humility,countermoves,services etc. matters a great deal more.

“The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.”- Henry Stimson

To someone whose feeling skeptical,this may sound too easy – like giving away credit card numbers willy-nilly! However, giving people more credit than they might deserve can be incredibly persuasive once trust develops. While choosing whom to place our respect in may feel like being on a first-date, gradually trusting helps others feel comfortable around us,since the underlying message is that we believe in their ability and good intentions.

“No matter how hard you try to hide your feelings, people will notice.” – Dr.Seuss

As much as we’d dislike this fact, humans are naturally sensitive beings-whether consciously or unconsciously paying attention to body-language,micro-expressions,tone of voice etc. When one feels distrustful towards another person other signs manifest such as guardedness, shiftiness or nervous talk.These manifestations convey more about what’s going through our minds than any well-practiced deception could ever do.

“Don’t blindly follow anyone because it’s convenient for you. Blind loyalty breeds mistrust.” – unknown

Unfortunately When we’re searching for emotional support (or magic mushrooms), sometimes it can be all too easy to get swept up into something someone else puts forth before seriously considering if these actions align with our own values.If someone has built up years of treating others poorly-there’s no reason why things would suddenly change just because they remind us frequently of who’s side they’re on.Its always best practice following instinct when pursuing ANYTHING relationships always included!

“Trust yourself more than you trust others.” – Suzy Kassem

The old adage,“if it sounds too good/easy/ridiculous to be true then probably its not,’sounds truest at times.Being more grounded while deciding which situations/people remain trustworthy means starting from within ourselves before external cues.Since remaining integral towards core values makes doing the right thing easier irrespective of who or where.

“Dear Mind,Worry Less About Other People And Focus On Your Goals ”― Sonya Parker

Mistrust towards anything in life even trivial events can stem from a need for control. On the flip side, constricting oneself into obsession around what someone else said or thought can be equally harmful.Around that same token,focusing on our own goals and aspirations distracts us from over-thinking about suspected motives others may have.

“You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.” – William Faulkner

As difficult as this is in practice, when mistrust has been seeded deep it can feel nearly impossible to move forward without taking with all of those negative feelings into any fresh relationship or experience. Stepping out of one’s comfort zone takes bravery but then staying there requires vulnerability which makes growth possible-this only happens by letting go of past preconceptions.Learning how people work best includes observing their actions afresh,rather than relying solely on past ‘wisdom.’

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”- Mark Twain

Oftentimes not trusting anyone/new experiences means focusing more energy around doubts than action. Deciding whom/what deserves trust can’t begin unless efforts are put towards exploring potentially threatening situations/people so we know exactly what we’re up against before making value judgements.Then after positive steps have been taken,doubts will eventually leave room for decision based rationality(for lack of better term).

“Don’t trust everything you see; even salt looks like sugar.” – unknown

Sometimes skeptical individuals caution themselves because they’ve experienced assumptions gone awry-things aren’t always as they seem.The quote sums it up .Granted,It’s unpleasant being disappointed,but better to learn that no-one owes you anything upfront especially since life regularly surprises both ways.

“I would rather trust a woman’s instinct than a man’s reason” ― Stanley Baldwin

This could just easily read ‘trust your gut’ instead.Margarine commercials notwithstanding 😀 The inner voice almost never steers us wrong most of the time.Women get a lot of flack/belittled when declaring they just had “a feeling” about something/someone,as if inherently male thinkers are somehow endowed with more logic or practicality.However – emotional responses to potential deceptive behaviours provide valuable quick insight,giving people needed boosts necessary for survival.

“What one has, one ought to use; and whatever he does he should do with all his might.”- Cicero

This quote on the surface may seem totally unrelated,but it accentuates alluding towards moving beyond grasping onto any past grudges/mistrusts .When mistrusting tendencies have taken root inside us,it’s not uncommon to put in minimal efforts/small talk which then leads into even less engagement.Whether we maintain trust through previous strategies listed here our own intentions empower whomever or whatever we value at present.Re-connecting is vital as rebuilding momentum starts only after clearing out old weight from stalled relationships/experiences.

“The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t yet come to the end of themselves. We’re still trying to give orders, and interfering with God’s work within us.” – A.W. Tozer

Obviously this might read a bit esoteric/heavy-handed while going against previously outlined strategies but bare with me!For some (not necessarily believers) sometimes placing too much emphasis around doubts/manipulations brings confusion that becomes near impossible overcoming.The above quote advises surrendering personal needs in order letting life/’universe’ take its natural course.To easily tie this back-doing so also nourishes wellbeing & most times puts faith where it belongs-in ourselves before external cues.So go ahead—Trust your instincts. With wise quotes by your side,maybe lowering those distrustful walls summons possibilities you hadn’t considered before.

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