Is loving someone a choice?

Ah, the age-old question that has plagued humanity since time immemorial – is loving someone a choice? It’s a topic that seems like it should be straightforward. After all, love is something we experience and feel innately, right? Well, not so fast. As with most things in life, the answer to this question isn’t quite as simple as we’d hope.

What even is love?

Before diving headfirst into our discussion on whether or not loving someone is a choice, let’s take some time to define what exactly love is (or at least attempt to). Love can mean different things to different people – for some individuals it’s just infatuation while for others it’s long-lasting commitment.

Love could refer –

  • A chemical reaction that occurs inside our brains
  • An intense feeling of affection towards another person
  • A bond that connects us emotionally and physically with someone else

So how do you really know if you’re in love with someone? The truth is, no one knows! But there are certainly signs you can look out for:

  1. You think about them constantly.
  2. Their happiness means everything to you.
  3. You want to spend every moment possible by their side.

If any of these signs resonate with you then there’s probably no mistaking it – YOU’RE IN LOVE!

Howeverrrr… this still doesn’t answer the million-dollar question: Do we choose who we fall in love with or does ‘love happen’? Let’s explore.

Can we control who we fall in love with?

This may come as bad news but unfortunately… No! We have little say over whom fate decides will make us go weak at the knees (sigh). However much we tell ourselves “Oh god please don’t let me fall for him/her”, end up doing precisely that 🙁

Scientists would agree too, according to a study by Stephanie Ortigue, psychologist at Syracuse University, you see an image of someone for just 1/5th of a second before deciding if you’re attracted and let’s face it, that type is not normally your ‘type’. So even though we might like to think we can determine who we fall in love with… unfortunately guys, our decision-making process doesn’t work quite the same way here!

It’s important to differentiate between love that requires effort and infatuation. Love actually needs to mature over time. But most importantly – loving someone when they have seen all your sides takes a lot more than passion.

The choice within love

Just because finding ourselves into ‘love’ is not exactly our call; it does still leave us with some amount of control once there.

Loving another person isn’t solely within the realm of conscious decision-making but personal choices taken within this are important as well – like showing respect towards them or trying their favorite ingredient riddled dish even after ordering Dominos for everything else (oh! Cooks beware!). In reality however much we insist on treating sustaining relationships casually; effort & patience drive success.

For instance: After years together both partners won’t look as appealing as they used too (I mean exceptions exist obviously 😉 ). You share many common things making decisions compromise yet rewarding in sharing life’s adventures! Happy Marriage Anniversary!!

Nature vs Nurture

Backed up science again- Biological factors affect human behavior incredibly. Research has identified chemicals in our brains such as dopamine and oxytocin contributes immensely to how attached one gets towards other people — these hormones fuel romantic desire & emotional attachments making one pay attention longer inspite of certain characteristics due social upbringing classification!

So while chemical factors may partially influence who catches our eye at first glance there are certainly other external circumstances involved which guide whom we choose ultimately focus upon y’all!

Somehow by recognizing how deep a reaction stems from a primal/hormonal response, it helps make more informed better decisions.

Choice to move on

Having feelings for someone and being in love with them are two separate identifications. But even though one can’t fall out of love like flipping a switch after popping off the bathrobe; Change is good!

Sometimes you need to be honest & wise enough with yourself that always waiting around won’t fix or heal anything ☹

And as we’ve previously established – You cannot choose whom you fall in love with! Yet sometimes you do have the power over whether to continue loving those who may not_ deserve your time because of their indifference towards things that matter most-Prioritizing self-interests isn’t healthy nor would allow any seeds of hope, grow back again. Back at it-Swiper no swiping!

The bitter taste behind ‘Forced-Love’

We must acknowledge some people use coercive tactics paving way into forced relationships- which commonly occur within professional/personal settings – where expectations placed over compassion from another person ensure they become submissive producing results leading further leadership coercion controlling creation using submission occurring through overpowering others negating their personal will in actions or speech.

Actions we take under duress aren’t sustainable but lead away from happiness and long-lasting-love altogether! We can’t force someone else’s heart however hard we try- while keeping ours intact too… Sounds confusing but unsolicited obsession/s., regardless prompts violation targeting individual capability without suitable reciprocation also creates an imbalance jeopardizing emotional health including mental well-being.

Wrapping Up

Going back to our original question, “Is loving someone choice?” After much research (weh!), discussion, analysis & experimenting themes later let’s break down what we discovered:

1) Finding oneself attracted purely varies immense depending on circumstances involved.
2) Once deeply ensconced choices critical maintaining/prolonging/celebrating relationships.
3) Finally, love (be it with someone or moving on from them) has some degree of personal choice involved be it effort, patience or making tough calls putting oneself in a better light!

Yes guys- we’ve tried our damndest to provide the perfect answer but even then there’s no definitive explanation (yet!). Overall loving someone may not entirely necessarily be within one’s own control; but once this emotion takes over individuals have the option & capacity to make choices toward maintaining/prolonging/rejecting/handling specifically their affair.

Also strong relationships never happen by chance folks instead we work towards them and mould ourselves accordingly(Being under active construction is okay :P). Hope this gives you some clarity!

Love- who ever would have thought that four little letters could cause us so much stress eh?!