I Want to Date: My Quest for Love Begins

As I sit here on my couch, surrounded by empty takeout containers and a pile of laundry that has been growing taller by the day, it finally hits me. It’s time for me to start dating again.

The Beginning of My Journey

After several months of wallowing in post-breakup despair, devouring every pint of ice cream within arm’s reach, and binge-watching every romantic comedy available on Netflix (even the cheesy Hallmark ones), I’ve decided to dust off my heels and throw myself back into the dating game. But where do I begin?

Swipe Right or Left?

With online dating becoming increasingly popular over the years, it seems like everyone is swiping left or right these days. As an introverted person who prefers staying indoors instead of socializing with strangers at a bar or club, online dating seems like the best option for me.

However, after downloading every single app available on both Google Play Store and App Store including Tinder, OkCupid, Hinge, Bumble – I quickly realized that this was not going to be as easy as advertised.

The constant swiping through blurry selfies and personalized bios filled with cringey dad jokes was exhausting. And let’s not forget about all those charming messages with lines from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (“Is your last name Campbell? Cause- Oh wait..I’m Jen.”) So much for meeting “the one” without leaving my apartment.

Seeking Professional Help

Realizing how difficult it was going to be doing this alone (and because even fictional characters need help finding love, see Celeste Ng’s “Little Fires Everywhere”), I decided to seek professional help from matchmakers.
During our consultation call – amongst many other things- we talked about what kind of partner would align well with my nature; extroverted or introverted, vegan or a meat-eater, early riser or night owl, and so much more. After going through the whole list, we were able to narrow down my preferences.

Plan of Attack

With her guidance and insight on what could be improved in terms of appearance- (a haircut, new wardrobe) – I was set with a secret weapon; the dating resume.

What is a dating resume?

A “dating resume” may sound ridiculous but believe me when I say it’s an excellent tool for showcasing your personality and achievements without being too boastful. It can include details such as education level, hobbies/interests you enjoy doing in your free time (i.e., Binge-watching Friends reruns on Netflix),languages spoken, any musical instruments played etc.

A World Outside Dating Apps

As useful as dating apps might seem at first glance (and they are really useful) there is still nothing that beats genuine human interaction when trying to find someone special.

Granted: The world outside our phones is scary – especially now with Covid – but there are always communities that help connect people who share similar interests. Before the pandemic hit the world , fun ideas like joining a book club-(online).

Going On Dates Again

After sending out applications waiting for responses from potential matches (it’s almost like job-hunting sometimes isn’t it?) … Some finally respond!

Learning proper etiquette before getting back into dating was essential since books have been exchanged over texting.

These meet-ups can be nerve-wracking if both parties don’t behave correctly (trust me; I once knocked over my drink while gesturing wildly during happy hour!). You don’t want to ruin your chances for love anymore by doing something silly.

Dress to Impress

The saying “first impressions last” holds very true, and knowing I’d be nervous on first dates. Upon these matchmaker’s advice, I stock up my wardrobe with outfit options: smart casuals such as blazers or flowy dresses depending on the setting of our meeting.

Be Good Company

Going out requires more than just dressing well. There are also little things you can do that go a long way in building new relationships; paying attention when someone speaks (I’m guilty of zoning out at times), Asking good questions, (“What was your favourite book read so far?”) listening without judging responses (says me who enjoyed 50 shades trilogy) , understanding different perspectives (In hindsight – this did not work during an argument about whether pineapple should be part of pizza toppings or not.

Keeping It Interesting

After some dating experiences (good & bad) keeping conversations interesting is no longer rocket science to me. You need authenticity, empathy but most importantly humour! But no one needs dad-joke level kind see point regarding Tinder above). Let loose in ways like cracking a witty joke or hilarious pun being playful(remember- seriously highlighting interest includes acting serious which can come across as aloof) Also adapting according to situation makes conversation last and memorable.

Conclusion

It’s evident that Dating isn’t just swiping left & right while praying for an ideal match appearing amid thousands upon thousands
Rather it’s about developing confidence through self-assurance finding better matches tailored towards interests.
Also worth mentioning if we’re too hard on ourselves… sometimes hearing from others When they think we’re incredible already helps bolster us – yes compliments have their place here!(Who knew!)
Thus various steps must be taken before taking great leaps find love outside digital realms because sometimes it’ll require going back Old School TLC: Tender loving care.