Are you feeling bloated, exhausted and in constant pain? Maybe you’re spending more time hiding in the bathroom than enjoying life. If this sounds like you, it might be time to consider getting tested for Crohn’s disease.
But don’t worry! Testing isn’t as scary as it may seem. In fact, with a little bit of preparation and knowledge, testing could even be a fun adventure!
So put on your lab coat (or whatever clothes make you feel science-y) and let’s get started on our comedic guide on how to test for Crohn’s.
What is Crohn’s Disease?
Before we dive into testing methods, let’s first take a brief moment to understand what exactly is going on down there (and by “down there,” we mean the gastrointestinal tract).
Crohn’s disease is an inflammatory bowel disease that affects 1.6 million Americans- if only they knew about it. It can cause inflammation anywhere from your mouth all the way through your digestive system until finally…poop-deck…you say good night (scoff). The inflammation caused by this disease disables healthful digestion which leads to different symptoms such as pains and diarrhea… lots of diarrhea (yay!)
Some common signs that you may have Crohn’s include abdominal pain or cramping (it feels like everyone has their elbows dug right into your intestines,” not joking!) , bloody stools or persistent diarrhea (oh no please not again) fever/sweating/another flu-like symptoms becoming familiar with these indications helps one prepare them self before deciding upon taking any tests.
Step One: Talk To Your Doctor
The very first step toward being tested for any medical condition should always be scheduling some time face-to-face with someone who studied medicine at college vs Google University.
Talk to a doctor who specializes in gastroenterology who’s an expert in pooping…errr, we mean digestion. They’ll be your guide for the testing process and will clear any confusion from there.
Step Two: Get Sleuth-y About Your Symptoms
It’s best to take some notes on how you’re feeling before having that doctor appointment so they can effectively diagnose without giving enough time for toilet run (scoff).
You’ll want to have a list of symptoms with specific details about each one (yep, prepare yourself with this poop sherlock booth pose). This could include things like the frequency or texture of your poop (oh god), abdominal pain or bloating, weight loss/gain (cross fingers it’s towards reduction) , funky taste/smell coming outta mouth, yada yada – basically anything unusual happening down there…that includes bright pink undies (gags) .
Step Three: Blood/Urine Tests
If only magic should exist in testing…but alas! The first procedure most often recommended is blood/ urine tests which help determine whether underlying conditions might be ruling everything else behind curtains. Some red flags doc may look into further are inflammation markers within your body such as C-reactive protein levels and/or erythrocyte sedimentation rates; low blood counts; and levels of minerals/electrolytes.
Take note though that not all people suffering from crohns have these elevated measurements despite their presence helping pave way while proceeding further steps.(sad-face)
Answer a bunch of questions during these procedures –they make sure you’re not faking it just like our mothers normally do when we talk about boyfriend. But seriously understand truthfulness could go long ways..
Step Four: Endoscopy/Colonoscopy:
The primetime show has arrived ladies and gentlemen! A colonoscopy would’ve been incomplete had I forgotten mentioning…
Don’t worry if you slightly gag preparing for this test. Endoscopy and colonoscopies are spectacles performed by team of specialists to see the inside of your digestive system (oh boy). It is also characterized as inserting a tube through a ‘hidden area’-again fun!
Feeling some kind emojis down there? (”¨�) (“ヮ̑｡•︠ ᴗ •︡”) (‘∩◕‿◕)⊃━☆ﾟ’) Rest assured even healthiest ones have undergone these tests(..yes you heard it right)
Sedation provided during these processes helps one remain stress-free and reduce distressful symptoms afterwards…BUT (sob) do prepare yourself for Post-colonoscopy symptoms such as nausea, bloating or abdominal discomfort….frankly not so funny.
Step Five: Biopsies:
Gaining popularity with our fellow fashion bloggers are new accessories called biopsies which come in different shapes –of course i’m kidding! These tests enable doctors to easily examine tissues removed from suspicious looking areas in the intestines (think Sherlock Holmes-type stuff but not Mr. Cumberbatch)
It may be prudent on part of patient-toprepare self again beforehand as mild sedative used in previous protocols doesn’t negate pain associated (eat that healthy kale salads ugh).
Testing procedures vary depending upon severity of condition so laugh while we can before treatment takes place – truly laughter serves our mental health well.(haha).
While Crohn’s disease is serious and requires proper care, getting tested isn’t something to fear if approached it creatively enough -it can become an adventure!. Be sure though to talk openly about all concerns when meeting with specialist related to risks/benefits involved .
Let’s crack some poop jokes together until next time…(especially when bio-active yogurt introduced😒).
Hey there, I’m Dane Raynor, and I’m all about sharing fascinating knowledge, news, and hot topics. I’m passionate about learning and have a knack for simplifying complex ideas. Let’s explore together!
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