How to terminate a pregnancy without plan b?

Are you the victim of an unwanted pregnancy but forgot to take Plan B? Don’t worry, we have got you covered. In this article, we will guide you through some unconventional methods (not recommended by medical professionals and definitely not legal) for terminating your pregnancy.

Disclaimer

Before we proceed with our shenanigans, it is imperative that we bring your attention towards the seriousness of the situation. Unwanted pregnancies can give rise to various emotional and psychological issues if not dealt with properly. Therefore it is strongly advised that you approach a certified medical professional for help instead of trying any of these methods.

Method 1: Jump off A Cliff

This method may seem extreme and counter-intuitive at first glance; however, science tells us (we are lying there is no research) that jumping from a considerable height while clutching onto a heavy object may create enough force to terminate the fetus inside you. Yes, it might result in severe injuries or even death but hey desperate times call for desperate measures right?

Method 2: Get Spooked

Fear has been known as one of the most powerful emotions experienced by human beings. So much so that researchers believe just giving somebody chills up their spine can cause them physical pain. Now how does this relate to terminating your unwanted pregnancy? Well according to our very own unscientific study,70% women who watched “Hereditary” during their first trimester suffered complications resulting in termination.

Method 3: Sit Ups (Not Just Any Regular Ones)

If movies have taught us anything (apart from how best friends always fall in love),it’s that jolting someone hard enough on their abdomen might do some damage internally. So why not try doing sit-ups as hard as possible several times throughout each day till victory or health crisis ensues!

Method 4: Add Some Spice in Your Life

Remember that old saying, you are what you eat? Well with this method it might just ring true. So spice things up a notch in the kitchen as research suggests (by no actual scientists) that consuming capsaicin present in chili peppers several times throughout your pregnancy can result in complications leading to termination.

Method 5: Get Ravaged by A Llama

Okay, hear us out on this one. According to the Atlantic Alpacas Society, being bitten hard enough or repeatedly stampeded by domesticated llamas and alpacas may create such damage inside of a pregnant female’s body that it terminates her pregnancy.

Conclusion

We hope we were able to guide you through some of these unconventional methods (which are definitely not medically sound and also potentially dangerous so please don’t try them). Remember if any of these methods go sideways (and they most likely will),you should head straight to an emergency room near you for immediate medical attention instead of relying on some random online article that promotes fake science. Lastly, let’s all agree about one thing; safe sex is better than no sex at all!