How to take a temperature with a mercury thermometer?

Taking your own or someone else’s temperature can be really crucial when you’re feeling ill, especially in the time of pandemic! Fortunately for us, taking our body temperature has become as easy and harmless as asking Alexa for weather updates. All we need is a proper mercury thermometer – no rocket science involved here.

Here’s how you can take your temperature using a mercury-in-glass thermometer without breaking any bones – along with some chuckles.

Prepping Yourself

Before diving into the battlefield of measuring an accurate body temperature, it is important to prepare yourself physically and emotionally. That means not drinking hot coffee before taking the reading! To ensure that all necessary steps are taken care of beforehand:

-Take ample rest if feeling exhausted
-Don’t drink hot beverages before measure
-Store thermometer securely
-Shake down the instrument gently prior use
-Wash hands thoroughly

Remember: No handheld device replaces finely tuned senses of human perception and intuition. If your gut feels something isn’t right even after getting an ‘accurate’ reading from your thermomete,r consult medical help ASAP!

Locating Your Targeted Areas

Mercury thermometers aren’t only exclusive blue marble sized balls used by mad scientists in movies but they do come handy when one needs to monitor their body heat level (which happens almost every day). Different types of thermometers require different temperatures depending on where they’re being inserted so check out these simple instructions before resorting to random pokes.

Oral Measurement

Oral readings are obtained through placing the bulb end (~1cm wide) under your tongue, holding it tightly against floor/roof while keeping mouth closed; breathe normally during process unless told otherwise by health provider such as repeating silly kids rhymes instead exhaling involuntarily leading erroneous results!

Rectal Measurement

For rectal measurements/babies/mature adults (18+), clean the thermometer tip with rubbing alcohol, lubricate the tip and then insert it approximately 1.25 to 2.5 cm (0.6-1 inch) deep into rectum halfway towards belly button.

Axillary Measurement

In case of armpit readings, remove any clothing that may be covering your axilla – a fancy word for underarm – and wipe off perspiration before placing the mercury bulb inside; close arm down on top till beep signals end of test.

Taking Your Temperature

While taking temperature yourself seems like an easy enough task in theory but requires practice if you want accurate results e.g not setting house on fire by mishandling thermometer during use!

Step One: Turn Up That Mercury

Start as elementary board textbooks suggest when doing anything remotely scientific: shaking the bell curve of mercury towards room temperature! Grasp uppermost edge of thermometer tightly between thumb & middle finger & flick wrist until column/reset silver gild goes down below 95F/35C degrees.

PS: If living somewhere scorching hot or freezing cold, adjust duration/frequency accordingly so results aren’t affected by external environment factors post measurement.(Pheww)

Step Two: Placement is Everything

Align proper body zone with magnifying focus eyepiece offering clear view while making sure no air pockets disturb correlation between included thermogenic materials stored within instrumental container-camper/diaper/etc., slowly advancing downwards guaranteeing full lock points insertion level importance(yes it matters!) Do this until only silver-gold portion remains outside quickly after making mental note starting time clock immediately.

Step Three: Embrace The Moment

Wait patiently at minimum three minute mark keeping device point angle steady nose height ensuring meniscus division angle resides/falls inches above desired area location(refer back Zone Manager guide). Post completion allow from zero ink-barometer filled-up inside celsius/fahrenheit format emerges after removal being fascinating reminder to the limits of mercury’s unique physical properties/ state of matter.

Beware : Engaging in any competitive sports or other active routines may cause elevated readings which don’t reflect true body temperature but rather activity induced metabolic rate!

Cleaning A Mercury Thermometer

Inculcation of good parenting involves knowledge about hygienic living conditions which includes using clean utensils/things/devices like thermometers too. The importance cannot be understated, especially ones whose function is vital when bodily processes are disrupted. To clean a thermometer read below:

-Wash your hands
-Use rubbing alcohol 75%+ on tip
-Sterilize it for few minutes with steam/hot water
-Allow it to dry out completely

Voila! You’re set till next fever episode arrives. And remember, keep repeating these steps (As Bob Ross would say, “there are no mistakes here only happy accidents”)

So fear not because measuring body heat levels has never been easier than now even if using archaic devices (at least until they go extinct). Go forth and conquer those pathogens!

Happy health tracking!

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