How to shrink prolapsed internal hemorrhoids?

Are you tired of sitting on a donut-shaped cushion? Do you dread going to the bathroom because it feels like someone’s taking a blowtorch to your butt? You may be one of the many people suffering from internal hemorrhoids. But fear not, my itchy-bottomed friend! I’m here with some tips and tricks for shrinking those suckers down.

What Are Internal Hemorrhoids?

First things first, let’s talk about what we’re dealing with here. Internal hemorrhoids are swollen blood vessels that form inside the rectum. They can sometimes protrude outside the anus (these are called prolapsed hemorrhoids), but they’re usually painless and go unnoticed until they start causing problems.

What kind of problems, you ask? Well…

The Symptoms of Internal Hemorrhoid Blues

Here are just a few delightful symptoms that come along with internal hemorrhoids:

  • Rectal bleeding (usually when you poop)
  • Itching or irritation around the anus
  • Pain during bowel movements
  • Mucus in your underwear (sexy!)

If any of these sound familiar, chances are good that you’ve got at least one little fella camping out inside your rectum.

Side Note: Have an Anal Fissure? Congrats!

You know what makes having internal hemorrhoids even MORE fun? Getting an anal fissure! That’s when there’s a tear in the lining of your anus, usually caused by passing hard stools (nice!). Symptoms include sharp pain during bowel movements and bright red blood on toilet paper or in the bowl. Fun times all around!

What Causes These Annoying Polyps?

So why do these pesky polyps decide to set up shop inside our nether regions? Here are some possible causes:

  • Straining too hard while pooping (pro tip: never in your life should you feel like you’re giving birth to a bowling ball)
  • Chronic diarrhea or constipation (life is all about balance, people!)
  • Sitting on the john for too long (get off Twitter and get off the toilet, folks)
  • Pregnancy (when we said “two-for-one deal,” this wasn’t what we meant…)
  • Being overweight (insert joke here)

How to Shrink Those Internal Hemorrhoids Down

Now that we know what’s causing those pesky hemorrhoids, how can we send them packing? Here are some tips:

1. Eat More Fiber…

You know that saying “you are what you eat”? Well, it applies to your poop too. Eating foods high in fiber (like fruits, veggies, whole grains) can help soften your stools so they pass through more easily. And less straining means less irritation of those blood vessels.

2….And Drink More Water

Fiber helps keep things moving along smoothly but without enough water…things will get real backed up down there. Dehydration leads to passing hard stools which cause strain on the rectum area; hence increasing internal hemorrhoids problem.

Side note: make sure it’s water and not coffee or soda – caffeine has a dehydrating effect which makes matter worse!

3. Get Movin’

Sitting around all day puts pressure on our butt region – adding insult to injury when an internal hemorrhoid enters into town! So do some light exercise everyday: Walking for at least 30 minutes daily keeps stool softner muscles strong hence avoid staining and reducing likelihood for developing another bout of Hemorrhoid.

If exercising isn’t currently part of your routine then try building up from shorter walks every now and again so not overdoing it where fatigue causes discomfort during movement later on.

4. Treat Your Butt Right

Go ahead & give that butt the attention it craves and treat it with kindness; remember there’s trauma happening down there as you try to maintain dignity while living with Hemorrhoids. Take gentle care of your bottom:

  • Use a wet cloth or a non-scented wipe to clean (excuse yourself to the bathroom for an after dive-cleaning session).
  • Pat dry, do not rub furiously like drying paint.
  • Do Not Wear tight clothing – this only boosts unnecessary pressure in the area which is best avoided.

Side note: For those of us susceptible to yeast infections, you may want to opt for white/neutral colored underwear too!

5. Soak Away Your Sorrow

You read that right – sitz baths are hands down one of the most helpful things anyone can do alleviate discomfort. They involve sitting in warm water for about 10-15 minutes several times throughout day! But make sure water isn’t scalding hot – just enough warmth; added bonus epsom salt helps soothe irritation as well

When All Else Fails…

Sometimes hemorrhoids simply won’t respond despite all effort applied; In these circumstances patient should ask doctor regarding medical intervention options at their disposal -as unappealing option as surgery remains plausible route!.

But in meantime, sprinkle some humor around with colt-toned self-talk phrases such “I’m pushing through!”

Conclusion

Say adios amigo!: Hemorrhoids are unwelcome tag-alongs who came by invitation-free and have overstayed but no longer welcome guests. Taking preventative measures will significantly curb number future visits thus improving sanity and peace-of-mind overall health.!

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