How to shave a mustache off?

So, you’ve finally decided that it’s time to let go of your furry friend and get rid of that mustache. Maybe you’re tired of looking like a 70’s porn star or maybe you’re just ready for a change. Whatever the reason may be, shaving off your mustache can be both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

Fear not, my fuzzy-lipped friend – I am here to guide you through the process with humor and ease.

Step 1: Preparation is Key

Before getting started on removing all that hair from your upper lip, it’s important to make sure you have everything needed for this endeavor. Gather up these items:

  • Razor: To do away with those luscious locks properly.
  • Shaving Cream: You don’t want razor burn or any other nasty after-effects when trying to look fantastic.
  • Towel: For wiping down before – AND after – the task is complete.
  • Mirror: Yes…you DO need one in order shave off ALL of your facial hair! Who knew?
  • Scissors (optional): If staring down lengthier tresses than what one could manage with their electric trimmer.

Step 2: Trim First

If necessary and prudent leading into shaving day itself / double check growth level ten-fold against desired style beforehand) snip away some excess height using pair ‘o trusty scissors first; if necessary —we’ll clean cut them up further in due course!

Step 3: Lather Up Your Whiskers

Alright folks, now we are really starting! Using an ample amount shaving cream apply generously over area(s). Emerge from the bathroom as though attempting full feline transformation. Meowwwww.

Step 4: Prepare Thine Razor

Get out ye olde razor blade stemming back since christopher Columbus’ times (JK!) & make ready for what is about to transpire. If the shaving gods have smiled on you, we’d recommend using a double-edged safety razor instead of the plethora of disposable razors consuming our landfills.

Step 5: The Actual Shaving Itself

Now it’s time for action! Start below the nose (duh), and work your way down toward “your neckly bit,” following skin direction as best possible- Southbound hair twists should NOT be messed with!

Pro-tip: For those who may not know / having trouble distinguishing which way their hair grows — think simply ‘the path that drips downwards when applying shaving cream’….

Once completed in one direction, lightly re-lather. Proceed with same by going up Northward i.e. reverse directions (Still following grain patterns). A visual might help illustrate these concepts :-

Step 1 Step 2
Shave_with_grain shave_across_the_grain

Keep lathering and/or adding small amounts of fresh cream if dryness starts to show as you proceed upwards against previously cut areas.

Damn, look at your progress so far – I’m floored!

Pro-tip: Be sure to exercise extra caution around sensitive areas like moles or beauty marks (‘cuz hey—we all can’t all rock perfect facial complexion!).

Step 6: Rinsing The Razor That Was

Using running water from sink or shower nozzle rinse off blade frequently throughout process while simultaneously shaking lose any excess product built-up between blades themselves.

Step 7: Cleanse Your Newly-Smooth Puckered Kisser

Maneuver that facial mop in order to rid it of all remaining shaving cream. rinse using warm washcloth or splash water over cleaned skin liberally; pat dry.

Step 8: Post-Shave Soothers & Moisturizing

Ermm….don’t forget the lotion, bro. This is to help prevent any post-shaving comedowns, and helps leave your newly-found babyface feeling soft ‘n’ smooth like a baby’s behind!

That’s basically all there is to it! Now you can go out into the world with one less face warmer and take comfort knowing that you own those lip inscriptions etched by Zeus’ own hands.

Pro-tip: If at first three weeks or so after process has elapsed —The new masterpieces drawing looks a bit rough around edges (as expected), fear not. It could warrant some fine-tuning during subsequent shaves sessions coming up, once hairs grow back again! But now we’re done here…right? Go forth young grasshoppa & freely rock your bare-lipped appearance forevermore – we’ll be rooting for ya!

So long story short (wait…was my last sentence too short?), this task need not induce stress just because initial excitement may be replaced by some nervousness right before embracing change in general as well as pulling off important grooming rituals like these; don’t worry though – I’m sure ease comes from practice – albeit a methodical one 😉

With this step-by-step guide training under the belt now—thou shall never miss plotting eventual mustache bids adieu plans for months ahead w/i planning calendar ever again when finally gearing up for “D-Day” …starting here on out.

Have personal humor-driven tips ? Please feel free tacking them onto ideas one might have gleaned above!

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