How to pass a blood test for smoking?

So, you thought smoking was cool when you were 16 and liked the American Pie movies but now that you are older, wiser (kind of), and your job involves a patchouli-smelling HR lady from Tennessee doing random drug tests, nicotine is starting to feel like an unwelcome guest in your life. Fear not! In this article, I’ll teach you how to get rid of those pesky nicotine traces from your blood test.

What’s all This Fuss About Nicotine Testing Anyway?

Nowadays employers want their employees to be free from vices more than Mother Theresa so people everywhere still start feeling personally attacked by regular workplace testing. After angry letters and even some protests against it by smokers unions nobody really cared about – here we are.
While THC can only stay up in our systems for only days or weeks depending on intensity/frequency with which someone tokes,nicotine remains detectable much longer.

Why is That The Case?

Well technically speakingmetabolites present within exhaled smoke can alter liver functionality leaving nicotine traces inside the body for longer periods.


Preparing For The Blood Test

First things first: quit smoking at least one week prior the test as continuing will make very little sense from this point on. Spend a lot of time re-evaluating your life choices during those seven days- recommend listening Sinead O’Connor singing “Nothing Compares 2 U” while staring wistfully out the window.
To further increase chances through techniques called ‘lazing around’ where candidates have been shown spending an increased amount of time laying completely motionless whenever they weren’t necessary moving around.

Once done lazing begin drinking copious amounts 3-4 days before getting tested as water dilutes urine samples -also helps blood- water retention is probably good idea.

Drinking Vinegar

Alternatively, consume an apple cider vinegar so it neutralizes the PH levels of blood and pee or because people are gullible enough to follow bad advice they found somewhere in internet.

Diet for Detox

Food can absolutely impact toxicity levels regrettably detoxing through eating 20 cans of Slim Jims or skittles daily hasn’t been studied more widely! But there ARE different foods that give you a better chance like fresh fruits, whole-grain wheat based products, lean protein sources and even omega-3-rich seaweed (unknowingly ordering from sushi at 2a.m can be indeed health-conscious).

Make sure we also go easy on salt consumption(& drink hella lot o’ water) as sodium intake will lead to bloating which is very hard to hide under clothes unless trying some bulky sweaters favored by office librarians everywhere.

Passing the Blood Test with Niacin

Some people swear up-and-down about Niacin – claiming that It Is The Almighty Savior – while others believe taking this B-Vitamin could kill them off just out of spite alone (or something).

So here’s where things get interesting. When taken directly before test sessions and at any moment following afterwards,niacin has shown potential for removing nicotine traces within our blood stream entirely thereby rendering we pass drug screenings with ease AND bypass enigmatic liver complications once hooked on harder drugs than mere cigars.

(note: prolonged usage may inhibit brain functionality… Please read your labels carefully)

### So What Are We Waiting For?

Start stocking up on provisions stat book freshly expired prescriptions online if you need convince your doctor you legitimately have hepatitis but really what else is new?

Exercises?

If none other options have proven helpful yet, exercise comes into play – whilst not always appropriate given time & resources its worth mentioning that aerobic exercises can boost metabolic processes altogether flushing out all kinds toxins more quickly than sedentary ones.

Myths About Increasing Blood Flow

No snake oil here! Put That Old Wives’ Tales To Bed Once And For All. Somehow we still see candidates attempting to reach sexual fantasy levels -upon the advice of misinformed grandmothers everywhere- by consuming garlic and cinnamon before their tests as well which is useless wastes time gives everyone stinky breath.

In Summary: How to Pass a Blood Test for Smoking:

Quit smoking (do it now!) At least 1 week prior

Drink large amounts of water A.k.a copious amounts; Drink vinegar or apple cider vinegar in small doses during test week.
Concentrate more on fresh fruits, whole grain- rich products and lean solid sources throughout diet plan
Consider adding niacin(supplements) boosting-& this will only work if you are going through upcoming detoxifying sessions once prescribed by teachers/doctors/psychics/sorcerers etc.
Everything else proves less effective so just working around actual real-life scenarios like knowing when drug screenings take place really can help win half the battle from then on!

On that note, wishing you smoke-free farewell & those articles last-minute rushed assignments has truly taught me some new skills today. So Happy Quitting(Yay)!

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