How to not grow a mustache?

If you’re anything like me, you’ve had your fair share of mustache envy. You see some ruggedly handsome man walking down the street with his perfectly groomed ‘stache and wonder why genetics have cursed you with such patchy facial hair. But fear not, my smooth-faced friends! There are plenty of ways to avoid growing a mustache altogether.

The Patchy Struggle is Real

Before we dive into how to avoid growing a mustache, let’s take a moment to commiserate over the struggles of those who are cursed with patchy facial hair. We know our pain all too well – those little spots that refuse to grow any hair no matter how much Miracle Gro for Man (that stuff exists, right?) we slather on.

Not being able to grow a full beard or even just an impressive lip sweater can really do some damage to our confidence levels. It seems like everywhere we look there’s another picture-perfect dude sporting the facial hair of our dreams, making us feel more inadequate than ever before.

But don’t fret – it’s time for us non-mustached fellas to shine!

Let’s Get Started: 5 Tips on Avoiding A Mustache

1. The Clean-Shaven Look

If you’re determined not to grow a mustache but still want some scruff on your face, then consider going clean-shaven instead! Not only will this save you from having any potential unwanted ‘stachiness, but it’ll also make sure that your follicle-challenged patches aren’t glaringly obvious as well.

And hey, there’s something undeniably attractive about someone who takes care of their skin and looks polished daily. Plus think about all the money you’ll save on waxing or plucking kits – it can be expensive enough purchasing Gillette razors every few months.

2. Laser Hair Removal – Not Just For Women

Now, if you’re truly committed to the hairless lifestyle and have a bit of extra cash lying around (or are willing to save up for it), then laser hair removal might be just what you need! And don’t worry fellas, this isn’t just for women anymore – men can get their follicles zapped too!

Not only is this a long-term solution (goodbye daily shaving!), but it’s also relatively painless, with many people describing the feeling as being lightly snapped by an elastic band. Sure sounds more pleasant than plucking hairs out one every second week in a seemingly endless cycle.

3. Rocking The Mutton Chops Look

Ah yes, the infamous mutton chops look! If it worked for Wolverine and Elvis Presley then why not give it a try yourself? Not only will you avoid any mustache-related issues altogether but think about how unique your style would become.

Just imagine having some serious face fuzz on both sides of your cheeks that blend seamlessly into perfectly-finished sideburns. Truly majestic indeed!

4. Grow A Beard Instead

If facial hair is something that needs to be added to your ‘I’m-getting-older’ bucket list or perhaps even done before hitting 30 (mid-life crisis anyone?), consider growing a beard instead of focusing wholly on trying avoiding something specifically like oh I don’t know…a mustache?

A well-groomed beard can hide patchy spots while still giving off that manly vibe we all crave deep down inside…right?. Plus there are plenty of resources online if beard grooming seems intimidating at first – go ahead and research those Paul Bunyan-level trimming tips!

5. Embrace Your Clean Slate Face – You’ll Be In Good Company

Lastly: And here’s where things start sounding cliché as always; It’s time to simply embrace the look. It’s always a good idea to remind yourself that some of the world’s most successful people were regularly seen without facial hair, – think Michael Jordan or James Bond- Realistically we all have better uses for our time and money than maintaining mustache grooming.

Take your smooth face situation and own it with confidence! There are plenty of ways to show off what you’ve got (or don’t), from dressing well to enhancing other physical features – like those baby-blue eyes or an impressive jawline– so why not indulge in other forms of self-improvement? Who would rather nagine their face filled up daily with hairs anyway?

At the end of your day, whether you choose one of these tips or decide to just let nature take its course really depends on personal preference. The ultimate goal is finding a style that makes you feel confident while spurning silly societal expectations.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with a clean shave – Just make sure it looks polished for overall sharp appearance – Unless scruffy is more fitting among peers.

Obviously things would always be easier if genetics had given us full-on beastly fuzz genetics but humor sets trait apart by saying ‘not is better than bad’. Really when compared side-by-side who knows who they actually save financially… probably smoother fellas 😉

So breathe easy my fellow pin-ups enthusiasts: You can still rock some manly exterior whether your lustrous beard requires trimming at regular intervals or presenting as consistently wiped bare skin – remember magic happens everywhere somedays just our closet friends get tired hearing about how awesomely un-mustachioed we are.’

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