How does a narcissist react when you cheat on them?

Cheating is often deemed as one of the worst things that can happen in a romantic relationship. This is especially true when your partner happens to be a narcissist. Narcissists are known for their extreme self-absorption and their desire to control everything around them, including their partners.

So, what exactly happens when you cheat on a narcissist? Do they break down in tears or become violent? To answer these questions, we must first delve deeper into the psyche of a narcissist.

Understanding the Mindset of a Narcissist

Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they are entitled to special treatment. They often lack empathy and treat others as mere objects that exist solely for their own pleasure. Cheating threatens this illusion and shatters it completely.

To understand how narcissists react to cheating, let’s take a closer look at different aspects:

The Declaration Of War

When someone cheats on a narcissist, it feels like an attack on every fiber of their being – even if they were not faithful themselves. Narcissists view themselves as victimized by the disloyalty rather than empathize with how their partner might feel after finding out about the betrayal.

Picture this: A nation has been betrayed by another country due to espionage – but instead of trying to come up with solutions or attempting diplomacy, it gets angry immediately; declaring war without any pretense of reconciliation –

The same goes for most narcissistic reactions after cheating −They will either verbally declare war stating phrases such as “You’ve just made an enemy,”or go silent altogether−till they’ve cornered you utterly-

Denying That Anything Has Happened

One possible reaction from narcs would be outright denial- Perhaps like looking away from something unpleasant hoping against hope that ignoring it could make it disappear-

Narcissists may try to deny that any cheating has occurred or deny the extent of it. They might even go so far as to blame their partner and claim they drove them to cheat- That’s not unheard of, right? After all how could someone so perfect be responsible for breaking their precious little heart?

Seeking Revenge (A slight nip would suffice)

Now let’s examine the narcissist who decides revenge is in order.

In some cases, a narc might seek revenge if they believe that their partner has cheated on them – not justifying such actions- this reaction puts an exceptional spin on what it means “to get even.”

“An eye for an eye” seems like mild words when thought about putting at risk both partners’ emotional health- Conversely, as suggested by Sarah Newman MA MFA LPCC counselor and writer; –Purposely attempting to hurt your significant other because they’ve wronged you is manipulative behavior— “If you want proof,” she says, “check out Shakespeare.”
(That was quick)

But then again being crossed rarely brings out the best parts of us –

Gaslighting (Are you sure?)

Another tactic employed by narcissists after cheating revelations is gaslighting. Yes! Cue psychological manipulation tactics.

Gaslighting: making someone question their own reality through various techniques meant specifically to make them uneasy.-

After cheating discovery , narcs have been known indulge in convincing themselves and others too; that nothing happened
-your insecurities are working overtime..-
-I don’t know where these accusations are coming from…-

So be patient with yourself if the gaslit experience leaves behind more confusion than actual comfortability in conversations –

Narcissistic Rage

When all else fails, expect temper tantrums reminiscent of Miss Violet Beauregarde from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory sneaking off mishandled chewing gums. Entitled to everything, but dealing with things they don’t like? -Not so much-

A narcissistic rage can take different forms including:

Physical or Verbal Outbursts

Narcissists, when their egos are at stake, will not hesitate in hurling insults that could emotionally cripple even the most robust person. They might engage verbally by attacking and devaluing you. If it’s a physical outburst from them; hitting is NOT okay obviously- Lashing out is an unstable quality more likely arising due to a lack of impulse control than genuine anguish

They often see this as taking back their power-
if It was up to them- You would never have any sense of personal value again.

Cutting Off Contact

Another potential scenario after cheating revelations from narcissists includes cutting off all contact in response –

As soon as there’s no actual physical proof of unfaithfulness (as if catching someone red-handed!) ; determining what led your partner down that path becomes less critical hence resulting in blaming the victim entirely – usually called stonewalling –

Ignoring your texts, calls and pretty much anything else communicating empathy and desire for conversation

All these steps may be performed either successively or simultaneously –
emotional healing for both parties sometime seems impossible especially when one feels betrayed while the other…Well let us say “narcs gonna narc”

In Conclusion

Now we’ve explored various probable ways narcissists retaliate when heard about being cheated on-‘An eye for an eye leaves everyone blind’ Gandhi once said.. And narcs wouldn’t necessarily disagree But remember No act of infidelity should define any human worth –It doesn’t have to be attributed solely to a moral flaw’ – We’re very complicated beings with mistery ingrained-

Sometimes people stray because they’re unhappy.Either way,it’s important to remember self respect during such scenarios-don’t forget supporting yourself after the terrain.

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