How can someone you love hurt you so much?

Relationships are supposed to be rewarding, fulfilling, and above all, loving. We’re taught that it’s our significant other who will always have our backs when the going gets rough. But what happens when this person who we thought loved us hurts over and over again?

It’s a question countless people find themselves asking time and time again. Why do those closest to us hurt us so much? To make a long story short: relationships are complex organisms. They require care just like any extended family member would.

“I Swear I Didn’t Mean It”

One common phrase repeated by upset lovers is “I swear I didn’t mean it.” Sometimes they don’t even remember their transgressions because of too many cocktails has been had or one too many stressors was introduced into an already fragile situation. That doesn’t excuse them from their behavior though- because yeah…they certainly meant it in the fact that they did not use reason before acting upon their initial emotion (AKA being weak).

When someone causes you harm – physically, emotionally or otherwise – but then claims there was no underlying malicious intent behind their actions, It often signals something else entirely- foolishness/immaturity/a faulty moral compass for example!

Hindsight Is 20/20

There’s nothing quite as frustrating as realizing after-the-fact how obviously wrong your partner’s behaviour really was! Especially if there were numerous warning signs leading up to whatever fight may have occurred.

The problem with hindsight under these circumstances definitely contributes to some impulsive decision-making patterns; but also serves as a valuable learning tool.

Observing behavioral tendencies within others can appear simple on the surface only; making necessary change/s requires deeper self-reflection done alongside professionals within related fields i.e couples therapy specialists or/licensed clinical therapists etc., addressing emotional reactivity could help stop future fights before they even start.

“I Just Get So Angry!”

You may have heard this one before: “It’s not my fault that I get so angry and act impulsively- it’s just the way I am!” Well guess what, fellow humans… That statement is a complete BS excuse (even animals choose to exercise control).

No one is destined to be trapped inside their own constant emotional rollercoaster ride. Everyone can develop healthy coping mechanisms and strategies which allow for enhanced ability when needing immediate recalibration during intense moments of passion or argumentative exchanges!

Strategies To Help Lessen Impulsive Acts

Here are some suggestions you might consider:

  • Treat Yourself kindly

    • Be cognizant enough of your states in order to meet your own needs effectively.
  • Catching yourself as much and often as needed!

    • …that mad feeling bubbling up?? Before acting on impulse? Take a few very deep breaths immediately, count slowly back from 20 or remove yourself from the situation until tempers settle down
  • Mindfulness….we’re talking BIG TIME here

    • Practice carefully noticing every nuance within any specific moment; train focus onto capturing internal experience in a timely manner with helpful awareness nurtured over time

Abuse Can Mask Itself In Love & Affection

The problem with people who violently erupt into anger during conflicts is how they still try masking it through generously showering those around them love – making said parties’ feel extremely confused about where boundaries lay regarding ‘acceptable behavior patterns’. If someone’s actions inherently cause physical/psychological damage due not having respect for lines drawn between unspoken pronouncements alongside warned signals then yes regardless if you care deeply for them or not…it’s abuse.

People don’t automatically change themselves without help at hand should psychological instability persist getting support fast remains imperative for both parties lasting happy “ever after” endings.

Signs Of Domestic Violence

  • Putting you down

    • Verbal assault against character (occurs as; Name-calling, shaming and demeaning)
  • Controlling every aspect of your life!

    • Limiting interactions with friendly acquaintances. EVERY MANITUPIATIVE BEHAVIOR IN THE BOOK TO LIMIT YOUR FREEDOM AS A PERSON & INDIVIDUAL!

It’s honestly a testament to the power of biology how our feelings can still lead us into believing we’re in love regardless of however devastating events reveal themselves within local/hostile relationship spheres.

Hurt People Hurt People (Yes…Unfortunately The Old Adage Stacks Up Here)

It’s classic psychology for those who experience trauma (especially during childhood), to struggle immensely considering how a healthy nurturing response/workable strategy would have supported having different outcomes exist altogether….()instead patterns continue until such time support is implemented or otherwise help sought along break free cycles.

People who are particularly prone to lashing out over minor conflicts tend also be very sensitive when scrutinized anything happens which makes them feel vulnerable resulting in developing more aggressive responses aimed at stifling pursuits compromising their comfort zones/opportunity for felt stability (probably not coincidentally drawing on learned behavior observed somewhere else).

Error Feedback loops operating upon ourselves make it impossible to see clearly past unconscious lessons making everything appear like an extremely intricate spiderweb type tangle all around us!

Love Can Hide Some Significant Issues That Should Be Addressed ASAP!!

Love allows people working together worthwhile opportunities towards cheering/encouragement/happiness but has several negative traits too…

Some might focus SO much effort during early periods within relationships trying “compensating” actions from self-loathing beliefs indirectly projected onto partners since they feel incapable reaching original targets via stance taken by their budding counterparts……

Receiving validation through stressing success amongst each other/a source humans draw enormous comfort from periodically may come crumbling once ego gets hurt or presents anti-sacrosanct agenda…making fighting/”breaking up” a.k.a removing oneself from toxicity cloud mandatory inorder to begin reintroducing some semblance of equilibrium going forwards!

Parting Thoughts

If there’s one thing guaranteed in life, it’s that love means putting yourself on the line time and again; crossing fingers for rewarding realisations along journey as you go forward. Just because those you care about can hurt you deeply doesn’t mean throwing in towel upon uncovering flaws & toxicities exists within relationship zones should occur any more frequently than strictly necessary!

Stay vigilant peeps…the world remains incredibly dark sometimes- but never forget how light always becomes more visible once spotting hues within surroundings drawing noticeable contrasts (guaranteed!)

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