He is a pleaser?

Have you ever come across someone who acts like their ultimate goal in life is to please everyone around them? People with this trait often go out of their way to ensure that everyone they meet is happy and satisfied. They are always quick to say yes, even when it means sacrificing their own happiness or well-being. But why do people behave this way, and what drives this compulsive need for approval from others? In this article, we delve into the world of pleasers and uncover all there is to know about these charming personalities.

Who Exactly Is A Pleaser?

Let’s start by defining the term ‘pleaser.’ In simple terms, a pleaser refers to an individual who goes above and beyond just to make other people happy. It could be your friend who always says “yes” when you ask for help even when they have piles of work waiting at home or colleague that can never say no despite having deadlines breathing down their necks.

Pleasers tend not only excessively put themselves second but also make huge compromises on what they may want or feel uncomfortable doing instead of disappointing another person.

To identify if one suffers from chronic pleasing tendencies (pleasing patterns) pay attention if:
You hardly set any boundaries
Have difficulty saying ‘no’
You prioritise others over yourself before making your decision.

If so then perhaps there’s some “people-pleasing” characteristic in you too!.

Psychological Origins Of The Compulsive Need For Approval

Studies show that various psychological factors can contribute towards developing pleaser personality types; parental upbringing/childhood experiences being among the most significant influences.

Some children grow up feeling unloved or undervalued by parents which subconsciously creates a belief system where all outside affection becomes inherent in satisfying those around them throughout adulthood living up until society’s expectations as opposed fulfilling personal needs [most common cases].

All in all, pleasers tend to get attracted and retain people when they feel “useful.” All the while hoping that their new relationship might lead them away from feeling rejected by those who did not engage with them before. [Pleasing habits]

Pleaser Personality Traits

Though it may come off good-natured agreeing with everyone or trying hard to make others happy, sometimes individuals revealing such tendencies are at risk of becoming victimised for putting almost everything else ahead of themselves.

Here are a few indicators that you’re dealing with someone whose constantly sacrificing self-interests at your expense:

  • They never say no
  • Fear of conflict
  • Lying stating convenience reasons.

While normally believing/feeling “I need help” because humans naturally desire connection; Persistent pleasance leads to idolizing what other people think about one’s existence creating an unhealthy attachment between actions and approval. As a result, pleasers display several personality traits which include but aren’t limited to anxiety, low self-esteem [pleasing solutions].

Additionally,a session on this may be scheduled if you:
1) Find yourself taking control tactics over other person’s lives even without invite.
2) Criticize yourself if doing things set out for opportunities that suit your liking instead.
3) Don’t know where boundaries lie especially whilst accommodating everybodyelse’s wants over yours.

Advantages Of Being A Pleaser

Being nice is good isn’t it? Well… yes![Advantags of being nice]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to please other people around us; it’s just taken too far in certain cases. Here are some advantages associated with the pleasing personality trait:
– You’ll have lots of acquaintances(Feeling less alone)
– Helps Build Stronger Relationships (Mutual exchange as opposed completely fulfilling only one side.)
– Inspiration & Motivation (Feels pretty rewarding)

The problem occurs when pleasing others turns into an obsession that negatively impacts personal well-being.

Disadvantages Of Being A Pleaser

It’s all fun and roses until we realize the grounds on which one stands isn’t healthy or enjoyable anymore.

Here are some of the common disadvantages associated with being a pleaser:
– Potential to get taken advantage of by manipulative people.(Constant agreeance)
– Difficulty setting boundaries in relationships
– Faking it till making it…then deceiving others while also betraying oneself.

Becoming preoccupied with what makes everyone, but they end up unhappy since mindlessly subjecting themselves to whatever works out for other people causing harm through having doled out so much emotionally demanding affection (isn’t love supposed to be empowering?) (illustrative examples)

How To Overcome Chronic People-Pleasing?

Nothing changes if nothing gets done about it! Change reverts right back ensuring patterns don’t. While modifying behaviour takes time & effort it pays off greatly.

Below are a few strategies you can use to slowly tip the scales towards self-care:

1) Accept Your Self-Worth – Recognise worth is inherent regardless of how many yes’ said
2) Learn Saying “No” Effectively. – Start small i.e refusing invitations you’d been tempted to shy from—accomplishment feels great
3) Practice Assertivenesss skills regularly.
4) Cultivate Personal Interests/Hobbies/Passions – creates autonomy — less dependent on external validation more-so seeking internal feedback first.

Since learning new personal habits mainly consists of altering planning over time seeing new ways [being curious], those accustomed from previous ones should`nt easily retort back.[Progress indicators]

Final Thoughts

While pleasing itself may not necessarily be bad; constantly doing so at society’s cost often proves undesirable requiring us take conscious steps towards counteracting such tendencies–identify whether personal motivations/signals influenced by others aren’t facilitating healthy relationships.

This means imposing self-discipline since we could acquire unintended consequences merely tending to every person’s wants without personalizing the interactions from our end. After all, everyone deserved to be loved and respected individually on their terms!

P.S for some extra giggles checkout r/dadjokes in spare moment; it might just tickle your funny bone 😉

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