Forgiving when it hurts?

Forgiveness is sometimes easier said than done, especially when the hurt runs deep. However, holding on to grudges and resentments can be detrimental to our mental health, well-being and happiness. So how do you forgive someone who has wronged you deeply or betrayed your trust? Here are some tips that may help.

Acknowledge Your Emotions

Before trying to forgive someone who has hurt you, it’s important to acknowledge the intense emotions that come with being wronged. Whether it’s anger, sadness or a sense of betrayal – these feelings are all valid and should not be ignored (even if you feel like punching walls). Once you acknowledge your emotions towards what happened, it becomes easier for you as an individual to handle them better. Only after accepting your emotions about what happened can a healthy forgiveness process can begin.

Try To Understand The Other Person’s Perspective

As much as we’d like people around us to live by our moral compasses (don’t pretend that doesn’t exist)– everyone thinks and behaves differently based on their own personal experiences (betrayal might’ve been something commonly experienced in their childhood) . There could also have been external factors such as stress which contributed to their behavior during this time. This does not mean that they were justified in hurting you but understanding why they did so goes a long way in allowing yourself closure & peace.

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Ignoring What Happened

Forgiving someone doesn’t wash away reality nor make things okay, but rather means acknowledging what was done but resolving within oneself not continue living in extreme resentment or hate which would only spoil ones present moments furthering pain greater than intended originally.And although it feels justifiable at the moment- hating anyone isn’t worth keeping around for too long(for real tho how exhausting!) In forgiving those who’ve harmed us we take one step forward in restoring mental peace and ensuring emotional stability.

Take It Slow

Forgiveness isn’t a one-time thing. If you’ve been deeply wronged, it may take time to let go of the hurt completely. Give yourself that time (the heart is like an onion- peeling away the layers will always make your eyes water). However, don’t use this time as an opportunity to wallow in negativity (for there might be only so much one can have of dark moods) Escape for sometime; Make plans with friends or family members – taking care of oneself is paramount here. Over time acknowledging something traumatic leads one towards healing – this coupled with self-care measures lead towards healthy mind-space for most individuals.

Communicate Clearly And Stand By Healthy Boundaries

It’s important to make clear what boundaries were crossed by someone who’s action led us into pain inflicted discomfort.Though sometimes difficult setting these lines early on saves us from similar situations more than needed.(repeat after me:“I do not tolerate anything less I deserve”)Through effective communication & boundary-setting we develop confidence within ourselves leading onto being assertive when any wrongful situations arise.Additionally such actions also ensure smoother internal communication movements thereby providing greater personalised safety nets in future too.

Learn From What Happened And Move On With Wisdom

As quoted earlier‘The past can hurt’. Painful events which occur are learning experiences helping growth stimulation within ourselves apart from just driving revolutionary narratives . Such events help obtain newer perspectives and often change priorities shaping our future better accordingly(can we get some serotonin packing over here, pleeease!) Through forgiveness & thus allowing closure losing out on mental baggage followed through carrying things unnecessary alongwith religiously will serve as an overall saving grace during life-altering circumstances down the road.

When inflicting harm upon anyone recognised (awareness) and subsequently apologizing can serve as a means to closure & even healing, knowing the steps helps one become more articulate and effective in this micro process too! Here are some tips:

  1. Acknowledge the wrong doing: Admit that you’ve done something wrong
  2. Apologize And Don’t Follow It Up With “But”: Say ‘I am sorry’, do not let your ego take control.
  3. Identify How Your Actions Affected Them: Understand how what you did made them feel
  4. Make Things Right To The Best Of Your Ability : If possible, make amends for any physical harm caused by what you did.
  5. Be Sincere In Your Apology: We all know when someone is not being genuine about something so try remaining transparent
    6. Never Expect Instant Forgiveness:Once apology has been sated down await response but never should expect forgiveness immediately.

Always remember- we’re all just humans riding our own emotional adventures with no real cheat codes – it’s only natural that paths will often converge unpredictably making mistakes/making unpleasant decisions of some form-totally okay.(deep breaths)