Discovering Hidden Connections: Questions to Ask Your Cousin

You know that cousin you barely see, only at holidays and family reunions? Well, it turns out they might hold the key to uncovering some fascinating family history. Whether you’re new to genealogy or have been digging for years, chatting with a relative can offer unexpected insights into your ancestors’ lives. So grab a drink, settle in on the couch (or phone), and get ready to deepen your connection with a truly underutilized resource: your cousin.

Introduction

Have you ever wondered if there is more to your family’s past than meets the eye? Maybe grandpa was evasive about his wartime experiences. Perhaps there are rumors of scandalous affairs buried somewhere in those dusty photo albums. Whatever it may be, we all have our suspicions that not everything has been disclosed within our families.

That’s why speaking with relatives such as cousins can provide us an opportunity to learn what happened beneath the surface- reach beyond dates birth and death lying around like fallen leaves waiting for someone curious enough or brave enough(Since this info could stir up controversies!). So let’s grab onto this chance with both hands!

Preparing for Your Conversation

Before beginning the conversation with your cousin who may also seem like another Halloween horror story teller(Kidding!), take time preparing yourself by laying down what each other should expect during and after discussion while mellowed out on cozy pillows;
– Take several deep breaths
– Have written notes outlining what information is needed(Don’t stress over prettiness!)
– Decide beforehand on most important(to least) areas of inquiry(Are we here just for small talk?)

One thing is inevitable-the questions would flow making them come/look natural regardless of whether one has memory loss worse than Dory(From Finding Nemo!) but having certain topics decided before-hand will lead towards better flow of conversation and avoidance of awkward silences.

The Right Questions to Ask

The success of this endeavor rests on the right questions being asked. Do not be afraid to dive deep into potentially touchy subjects (in a respectful and empathetic manner), but also know when to steer the conversation in another direction if things become uncomfortable or tense({It’s okay! We don’t want family feuds}). Here are some helpful prompts for starting important discussions:

1. Immigration

  • When did our ancestors first come over from the old country?
  • Did they come through Ellis Island, or another port?
  • Was there any political unrest or hardship that prompted their migration?

2. Education and Careers

  • What kind of jobs did our grandparents have?
  • Were any members of the family involved in business ownership?
  • Where did everyone go to school?

3. Family Life and Traditions

  • Can you share some favorite memories about your parents/grandparents/great-grandparents?
  • Are there any cultural traditions within our family that we should keep alive?
  • How was holiday time celebrated?

4. Military Service

(Note: These questions may be sensitive depending on one’s country/background)
– Which wars/conflicts were our relatives involved in?
– Where were they stationed/how long were they deployed?
– Did anyone receive awards/commendations for their service?

Asking these kinds of targeted questions can lead us down unimagined directions with some revelations challenging whatever perceived notions one had before.

Listening is Key

The key isn’t just asking smart questions; it’s learning how to listen during what could potentially turn out a messy discussion.It might mean keeping an open mind while actively listening without interjections(not even “Oh my God”)or analysing as answers drift from surface level facts towards more personal stories.As much as probing allows hidden experiences reveal itself,making someone comfortable enough to share is equally important.

Never assume that your relative has exactly the same memories as you or will interpret events in the same way. Listen carefully, ask follow-up questions when appropriate, and try to understand their perspectives without judgment(Easier said than done but worth trying).

Recording Your Discoveries

Have a notepad ready for scribbling down notes during interactions-wait until they leave before firing up laptop(sometimes more of an embarrassment when it is actually time for pen and paper!). Taking electronic recourse sometimes kill showing actual interest/making them feel heard(Not advisable except maybe while transcribing). Better still,BUY A JOURNAL! Emphasis on buying!

This could be beneficial especially after conversations since rummaging through old notebooks might bring back distant recollections.

It’s also important to stay organized so information won’t become lost within other pieces jabbered about. Tabulate findings underneath each subject tabulation would trigger faster remembrance.Later review might reveal new insights- evidence disregarded earlier surfacing-confirming what actually happened years ago.

Enjoying the Process

The final piece of advice? Have fun with this process (gasp did she really say that??) Changing things up becomes necessary once in awhile Family history research isn’t just something one should scoff at. It can connect people together,bringing forth joyous nostalgia,evoking stirrings within bones/heart allowing understanding resonate.Its a welcome break from daily routine,learning how ancestors persevered through different struggles or possibly provide insight into DNA makeup(It’s true!).

Don’t forget; high-tech opportunities like genealogy kits are available if family members are unable/unwilling to give needed answers.Nevertheless,maintaining those familial human connections should always be prioritised(it even opens doors towards creating stronger bonds!)

So pick up the phone,laptop/tablet,notebook confidently head out there knowing we’ve got your back!

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