Craving the Unattainable: Why People Want What They Can’t Have

Have you ever found yourself wanting something so badly, even if it’s impossible to attain? Welcome to the club! Craving the unattainable is a common human behavior that we all experience at some point in our lives. It could be anything – from material possessions, love interests, or even a higher social status. But why do we want things that are out of reach? Let’s find out.

The Psychology Behind Unrequited Desire

Our brains are wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. When we desire something, our brain releases dopamine – the feel-good chemical that gives us a sense of reward and satisfaction. However, when our desires remain unfulfilled for an extended period, our brain may produce more adrenaline than dopamine. This leads to feelings of frustration and anxiety as we try obsessively to pursue what seems unattainable.

The Benefits (Yes! There Are Some!)

Believe it or not, craving the unattainable does have some benefits:

  • Keeps us motivated
  • Enhances creativity
  • Teaches resilience

1) Motivation

Desires keep us motivated by giving us direction in life; without them, we can easily fall into boredom and apathy towards everything around us.

2) Creativity

When trying to achieve an elusive dream/ambition through conventional methods fails people often try unique creative ways to get over this problem leading them closer/beyond their goal.

3) Resilience

The continuous pursuit helps develop positive personality traits like grittiness by bringing persistence/determination which eventually leads us closer towards reaching goals.

However tempting it may seem chasing your dreams blindly has its perils(one loses sight of reality…), making one overlook opportunities where good enough can be contented with instead while perpetually thinking there might be ‘something better‘ out there(“the grass is greener..”)

Fear of Loss versus Possession

The fear of losing something can make us want it more than actually experiencing the possession. Research into psychology and human behavior suggests that the longer one has to wait for something or is uncertain about obtaining it, the stronger their desire for that thing becomes.

On a related note, many people also develop an unhealthy attraction to those who are unavailable or uninterested in them; often leading these individuals towards pursuing someone even when faced with constant rejection.

The Evolutionary Perspective

From an evolutionary perspective,craving what we can’t have may once have served a survival purpose. In prehistoric times, scarcity was ubiquitous- like food which meant that humans could’ve evolved feeling gratification from acquiring scarce resources keeping themselves alive avoiding extinction by giving them newfound sustenance/food sources etc.

Humans instincts rely heavily upon “Covetousness ,” making sure that they have enough stored up encapsulated concerns over not possessing sometimes leads the development of risk-taking behaviors amongst others thereby increasing chances of hunting gathering maybe even warfare sometimes

The Social Aspect

Our social environment plays a huge role too! Social comparison drives our desires, when we see people around us doing better or having things exclusive to them(keeping up with Jones friends, neighbors…), It’s but normal to harbor keen aspirations ourselves while resorting to consumers’ anxiety if left unfulfilled:

1) Emotional Comparisons

2) Materialism Satisfaction

These comparisons drive two types of desires
1 ) Emotional Comparison: Envy or happiness on seeing somebody acquire/discard(Marie Kondo effect)/modify their materialistic possessions such as vehicles, houses jewelry ,etc

                                           OR

2 ) Materialism Satisfaction :Achievements and pleasures gained post-engagement/ marriage;a sense of personal satisfaction beaming within oneself- rather than surrounding oneself,simply based on materialism

The Media’s Influence

Undeniably the media also extensively influences our wants and desires. It presents an endless cycle of glamorous things and ways to live affording countless oneupmanship opportunities – this is aiding in producing a market where only those capable of paying can get their hands-on such luxurious/exclusive things, inflating the drive for achievement even further.

The ever present TV reality shows/social media trends pointing out aesthetic realness has increased People’s wantings putting people into a certain mold exacerbating insecurities esp on physical appearances as well (FOMO)

Bringing about sensitivities toward inclusive representation and fair/distributed chances at betterment without external interferences

To sum up…

We all have craved something unattainable at some point in time,this behavior emanates from our genetic predisposition towards it – being human with inherent qualities embedded within us

It helps if channelled positively enabling humans aspiring to achieve more-But when it gets uncontrollable transitioning over to obsessiveness crossing over boundaries we should be comfortable in dwelling upon what we already have; cherishing growth, stopping infatuations/ ‘unrequited love,’ instead generating innovative ways ,content helping others who might not be that fortunate

Remember: Stop seeking perfection relentlessly,it’sbut a mirage! Instead peruse contented/imperfect sometimes opportunities from mundane tasks presenting themselves transforming them into learning experiences-greater realism leading you closer towards success.

Takeaway #1: Desires keep us motivated by providing direction;however,the long wait may trigger frustration..Hence always develop alternate routes of achieving it!

Takeaway #2: Social comparison is amongst thee primary drives influencing aspirations surrounding exclusive possessions including different types of comparisons mentioned-above

Takeaway #3: One needs to stop striving towards absolute/perfection/something that doesn’t exist(hypothetical) instead vigorously persue contentment through realistic perceptions and learning experiences present around

Takeaway #4: Desires are but natural human instincts upon which positive transformation can be provoked otherwise being potentially dangerous if left unfulfilled prompting unhealthy behavior…

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