This weekend's Mad Rollin' Dolls' roller derby tryouts were closed to the media. No "slack-jawed rubbernecks" were to film or photograph us, and for good reason: so that we wouldn't be any more freaked out than we already were. Dane101 readers, you are so lucky. On Saturday, we were a group of approximately 45 women. On Sunday, we were trimmed down to around 34. By Monday, there were ~26 future derby queens left, and somehow I managed to be one of them.

I really don't know how they are able to pick which girls to cut. It was clear to me that the level of competition has stepped up quite a bit. Everyone I met had a great attitude, a great level of skill (or at least teachability), and a great desire to be in the league. Maybe from the years on the track, the Mad Rollin Dolls can smell the fear on you and the decision is purely instinctual. In any case, they have their work cut out for them in making these decisions because quite simply put, the newbies rocked.

So, what was the hardest part about trying out? Could it be the flames that were emitting from my quads after squatting for a gahd-damn eternity? Could it be the repetitive crashing down on my kneecaps to practice the rock-star slide? (Note: I did not slide, not once.) Or could it be that one time I managed to land directly on my right boob and rib cage? No, no, and no. As any roller derby girl would tell you, the hard part is not the pain, it's the psychological stamina: being able to fall over and over, and skate hard, regardless of how tired (or hungover) you are…and not turn into a bluthering whiny-ass baby. But the absolute hardest part about trying out (in the psychological sense) was the interview.

The Dolls asked that we not share the questions, but suffice to say that they were along the lines of your typically interview questions: Do you have an incessant tendency to throw people into walls? Have colleagues ever described you as "a complete bitch"? Would you have any aversions to eating babies for breakfast? Of course I froze up completely, which is typical interview behavior for me…y'know, put on your dork cap and glue your tongue to the roof of your mouth. The interview went very fast and while I don't remember much, I do remember the uncomfortable feeling that I'm sure laboratory mice get. You get probed while 12 people with writing pads stare at you, expressionless, and scribble notes down after you answer. Stitch delivered the questions, I mumbled some ridiculous lame-ass answer, and then the silent observers (captains or other representatives of the teams) took notes. How horrible is that?! I'll be honest, I was a little star-struck.

Saturday night, I sat around with a support group of coworkers, waiting to get the call for the Sunday callbacks. Yesterday, I spent all day nerve-wracked, waiting for the news. I can't convey in this small post, what a huge accomplishment and honor it is for me to be chosen to be part of this incredible group of women. Congratulations to everyone who made it. To those who didn't, we'll see you again next year, I hope. I had a great time meeting everyone and can't wait to kick your asses!