When I was in grade school, I thought learning your instruments was the last step at being a musician in a band. After all, who has money for instruments when you are a kid? In the meantime, we figured we would work on our dance moves and how “cool” we looked together playing. So, in Tim Wendland’s basement, three friends and myself would put on Poison’s “Unskinny Bob” and air guitar, air drum, air bass and lip sync our instruments. Luckily, I was taking drum lessons at the time and my instrument was already chosen for me. My friends, however, had to vote on who should play what instrument. This, of course, already caused in-fighting within the band. Who has the flare to be the lead singer? Who has the bad attitude to play lead guitar? Who is going to get stuck playing bass? Eventually, this was all worked out and we voted on the band name, “T.A.N.G”. (Tim, Adam, Nate and Greg).

T.A.N.G. was formed due to our post hair metal concert experience we had the night before: Poison at The Bradley Center in Green Bay, WI with Warrant opening. It was my second concert I ever went to (I’m not counting all the Weird Al Yankovich shows my parents took me to as a kid) and like the one before (Motley Crue with Faster Pussycat opening), I was in pure joy. Loud music, pyrotechnics, ridiculous outfits. I learned that ‘heaven wasn’t too far away’. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. But seriously, that night, I was having ‘nothing but a good time’. Oh man, I just can’t stop.

I almost got to the front row, but I just couldn’t quite weasel myself in there. Still, I was so close I could see Brett Michaels uncomfortably smiling at us young boys. (Of course, the young girls, he had no problems smiling at). One after another, hits after hits. “Look What the Cat Dragged In”, “I Won’t Forget You”, “Something to Believe In”. I remember thinking to myself, “There is no more ‘rockin’ song than ‘Talk Dirty to Me’. There just isn’t.”

Then came the crown jewel. Don “The Magic Man” Majkowski (Quarterback for the Green Bay Packers during the unusually exciting 10-6 season in 1987) was invited on stage with his acoustic guitar in hand to sing “Every Rose Has it’s Thorn”. You see, in up-north Wisconsin, when something is cool and something Packer related is added, it ultimately becomes cooler and therefore much more worthy of existing.

To me, hair metal gets a bad wrap. It is repeatedly the butt of many jokes and admittedly, is an easy target, because, let’s face it, there was a lot of talentless bands that makeuped themselves up and became rich by cashing in on the hair metal trend. But really, isn’t that the case with any genre? Aren’t there going to be copycats?

Recently, my friend Kyle tried convincing a friend that White Lion is better than Led Zeppelin. I couldn’t quite get on board, but I respected the statement he was willing to make. Hair metal is fun and loose and shouldn’t that be the point of music? In fact, if they would have toned the lyrics back a bit, had a bit more restraints on solos, some of those songs could be considered classic “power-pop” tunes.

Perhaps this is me trying to justify something that I’m merely just nostalgic for and should have no right enjoying anymore, but I don’t care. I would rather live in denial and enjoy the shredding fun of Motley Crue, Whitesnake, Great White, LA Guns, Def Lepard, Twisted Sister, Quit Riot, Tesla, Cinderella, Enuff Z’nuff, Slaughter, Motley Crue, Extreme, Faster Pussycat, Skidrow, and of course, Poison.

So on Saturday, July 12th, Poison will be rocking The Expo Center with Dokken and Sebastian Bach here in Madison, Wis. I’m going to try and make it to the show, and afterwards, maybe if I am moved in the same way, I’ll try and get the band back together. You know T.A.N.G. still never really hit our full potential. Perhaps this time we can afford some instruments.