I think I owe all of you - my dane101 fans (and by all of you I mean my friend reem, her friend sarah, and my dad) - an apology that will echo through the ages. I sincerely promise you that I haven't been SOBER during my absence, but I have committed an even more tragic folly; I haven't TOLD you about how DRUNK I've been. It just isn't fair. And I apologize. It will probably happen again, but I will remain apologetic. Forever. But, on the positive side, I just re-enrolled into school for the first time in, um, 5 years? And if any of you knew me in college, which I doubt, you'll remember that I was not only a fantastically obsessive student, I was an even better drunk. So, while still in the midst of the marvelous summer haze, we'll keep those pencils sharpened to await the arrival of class schedules and student loan checks. Word!

OK-OK. So, do you guys remember when Elimidate came to Madison? Did you watch it? You KNOW you did, because I did, but I didn't tell anyone about it. Do you remember where they went? I do. The Cardinal Bar was their first stop. Located on E. Wilson, about a block from a place I love to get breakfast sandwiches, Cleveland's, The Cardinal is a bar I do not frequent. Here is the one time I have ever gone there: about 3 years ago, when I worked at Leopold Elementary School, I went with a huge group during 80's night (Fridays) for someone's birthday. I can't remember any other time I went there besides last Thursday night, when I was rocking out with my friend Lia, and a group of her friends from work, all of whom know how to party. Or par-tay. You know, whichever. When they suggested The Cardinal, I was sort of eye-rolly about it. But, since I was the guest, I kept my mouth shut.

When we got there, it was totally empty, or at least I thought it was until I heard a voice from the back room yelling in a heavily-accented voice to "make chure joo deep on dees one, jees?"---o.m.g. Salsa Lessons? Thursdays at The Cardinal are Con Sabor Latino nights, and from 7 p.m. until 9 p.m., they give free Salsa lessons to well-meaning left-footed people, who just wanna learn to feel the salsa for reals. After that, there's a $5 cover and it is a complete massacre. By the time we left, a little before bar time, I could barely breathe. There were party people everywhere: shaking booties, making out, spilling drinks, gettin' crunk.

The first drink I had was the house sangria which was on special, which, for lack of a more specific description, is a sort of wine punch. This one was prepared with cute lil apple pieces, and I enjoyed it, but couldn't commit to it for the entire evening. Lucky for me I opened my big mouth and asked the bartender about any house drinks and he replied with one of my favorite words in spanish: mojito. Done And Done. What is a Mojito you ask? Oooooh. I'll tell you. First, the bartender takes fresh mint, lime juice and sugar, and (ooh, another word I like) muddles them together with a wooden pestle, and creates a sort of slurry (god, that word rules too!), that they then temper with rum (in this case, Bacardi) and soda water, and garnish with a lime. Do you all remember when I told you about Mint Juleps (just say yes)? Well, a Mojito is a Mint Julep that knows how to just chill the fuck out. And after five of them (and a substantial bar tab, might I add) I was so, so awesome. Certainly, the best Mojito in town. As least so far.

To make the night even more exceptional, I ran into an old friend, and we spent the evening laughing wildly at our surroundings, and he invited me over to play Guitar Hero as soon as we can get togther. Are you KIDDING? The night could NOT have been awesomer. So there. It's summer. I'm drinking. Let's party.