So, let's take a couple of items of national interest-- like the presidential campaign and the mortgage lending crisis-- and weave them together in a fun little contemporary fairy tale about how some things work and some things don’t.

We’ll pretend that Barack Obama and John McCain are both interested in buying the same house. They’re coming to you and I because we’re the lending institution (you be Freddie, I’ll be Mac) and we hold the mortgage to the property.

Mr. Obama seems very enthusiastic and sincere in his desire to own the place but has very little past history to indicate his ability to pay off our potential investment in him.

Mr. McCain, on the other hand, has a lengthy, if somewhat shaky, credit record. However, he does have a long list of references who obviously have lots of cash; on top of that, he has a really cute business partner.

Lucky for us, neither of them seems to be deterred by the fact that the previous owners really let the place go. Sure, it still has great curb appeal, all shiny and grand from the outside, but once you get inside and start to look around a little bit you wonder why anyone would want to take on a remodel job of this scope.

There are places in the house that seem almost beyond repair. Some of the rooms look like someone started and never finished them and others look like they never even started. Then, besides the foundation being cracked and crumbling, it’s got a unique plumbing predicament. Usually pipes get all clogged up and nothing can get out, but here the problem is the opposite, no matter how much or how fast you fill it up, everything drains right away. Finally, someone must have left a window open somewhere because rats got in and we can’t seem to get rid of them!

But we’re hoping that the two of you can see the long range potential. Granted, it may be in tough shape at the moment but this place used to be the finest of its kind. You might have to squint to imagine it now, but people from all over the world wanted to build a house just like it. We were so encouraged by the design that we actually got into building on spec a few times. Worked out great in some places, in other places….. not so great. No accounting for taste, I guess. It's kind of like when you have a CD that you really, really like and you play it for a friend and they don’t seem to like it at all... and so you turn it up louder and they like it even less... so you turn it up even louder and they’re shouting that they don’t like it and you thought they said something nasty about your mother and so you punch em and then break all their CDs with a hammer...kinda like that.

Anyway, both of you gentlemen appear to be very energetic and eager, which is all well and good, but it doesn’t matter how handy either of you might be with a hammer or a hatchet, this place is going to need a lot of people who know what they’re doing and can get to it fast because winter's right around the corner and a couple more stiff winds might blow the place right over.

Our recommendation would be that you not hire the same crew that’s been working on it in the recent past as the results are all too obvious. Not only did they not get the work done when they said they would, but they went over their estimate before they even started-- and I think one of them stole my checkbook.

So, listen guys, we’re going to wade through all these piles of paperwork outlining your proposals (frankly, at first glance, if either of you can do half of what you propose doing I think we’d be happy to turn the place over to you) and we’ll get back to you in a few days. When we do finally decide, we’re sure you’re going to want to get right to it, so don’t bother stopping by for the key, just walk right in...the door's off its hinges.

Mac Cherry and his family live on a few acres outside Alma, Wis. He’s the father of five, an area musician and owner/operator of Big River Theater Co. in downtown Alma. As much as he would like to, he regrets that he would not accept a presidential write-in victory as he has recently decided to get back into fishing. Contact him at