Pop culture critic and author Chuck Klosterman visited the University of Wisconsin's Union Theater Monday night to dish about everything from Senator Hillary Clinton to Lost to the widening gap between "indie" and "hipster." Klosterman managed to take mundane audience questions and spin them into commentary that could be lifted right from one of his articles in Esquire, but much more meandering. Below are snippets from the Klosterman talk:

Hillary Clinton:
Klosterman didn't spend very much time discussing politics, but he did open with a short monologue concerning Presidential candidate Senator Hillary Clinton who was hosting a rally on the other side of town. He said it was too bad they had to compete because it would have been cool if "we somehow combined events." He suggested they could debate and conceded that she would probably be stronger on topics like heathcare and national defense, but when it came down to "Oasis b-sides or Lost conspiracy theories I would crush her."

Klosterman said it was interesting that so many people want Senator Barack Obama to win while many actually believe Clinton is more qualified. He said she would be "better prepared to handle" another 9-11 or Katrina because she has literally been "embedded" with the Presidential process. He said it isn't that Obama is unqualified, he is "less qualified" but at the same time Obama is "more charming" and that he couldn't believe he was using the word "charming" to make his decision.

Writing Rituals

Klosterman said he is almost always asked a question about "writing rituals." "Some writers love this question," he said, but he doesn't have any rituals. He often wonders "if I told them something would they do it then?" Such as what if he told someone he "only wrote standing up?"

Lost

Lost is one of Klosterman's favorite television shows and he has an article in the coming Esquire dedicated to the corner the writers may have painted themselves into. Now that the show is not only showing flashbacks, but also flashforwards, the actors who have been appearing in the flashforwards have little reason to not demand more money. For example, we know Sayid lives in the future and is killing for Ben, so what stops Naveen Andrews from walking into the producers office and saying "pay me more or I'm not working."

Or what if Michael Emerson, the guy who plays one of the shows most important characters, Ben Linus, dies in a car crash? "You can't just have the smoke monster kill Ben," Klosterman said, because we know he is alive in the future.

Indie vs. Hipster

An audience member asked a question about the film Juno and if, even though it was indie, it could still be considered hipster? At least, that's what I think she was asking, Klosterman bailed her out.

"Hipster is closer to retard."

Klosterman pontificated that indie and hipster used to be one in the same, but in recent years they have slowly begun moving apart and going the way of the "Whigs and Tories."

Fame

What does it mean to be famous in this day of age? "the celebrity bar has been lowered," Klosterman said. he said it started with the rise of memoir writing becoming popular and then reality tv, blogs, and social networking.

is the drummer from Yellowcard famous? Is he as famous as Perez Hilton who is not an artist? Is Perez Hilton more famous then Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy?

Albums

Some of Klosterman's best writing is when he tackles music culture. This talk was no different with some of the brightest moments coming when he discussed music.

"What is cool?" Klosterman asked and then gave the example of the sophomore release from the band The Darkness. Sophomore labums are supposed to suck, it is just the way the music industry works and the second release from The Darkness held up its end of the bargain. However, Klosterman said he thinks it is almost as if the band made it horrible on purpose.

He said the new Wilco album, Sky Blue Sky is his favorite because it sounds the way a "rehab" record should sound even though Klosterman admits "I don't really know what that is supposed to sound like."He said in time it will come to be appreciated. He suggested that the R.E.M. album New Adventures in Hi-Fi, while overlooked at the time of it's release, will go down in history as one of that band's greatest.

During a discussion about the music industry and the transition to instant musical gratification via the Internet he wondered if an album like Radiohead's O.K. Computer would be have been appreciated if released today instead of right before the Napster revolution.

Sex and Porn

Sex "still seems popular," Klosterman said, but the range of what pornography is has been pushed much farther now that the taboo of going into a store to purchase pornography has been removed. He added that there is a generation gap forming concerning how privacy is perceived. When he asked how many people in the mostly college aged audience personally knew someone who had naked or half naked pictures posted somewhere on the Internet nearly 30 raised their hands.

Bonus!

Ten Smarty Pants Things Said by mass media meister Chuck Klosterman during Distinguished Lecture Series, Feb. 19, 2008 Courtesy of Jill Nebeker

1. This must be what it's like to give a speech while in a coma.

(lighting in the theater so bright he could see only blackness)

2. I sort of wish Hillary Clinton's visit and my own could have been combined.... If it were a debate on Oasis b-sides or Lost conspiracies, I would crush her.

3. I appeal to acid dealers, bad acid dealers, the ones who get caught.

(he has received letters from four acid dealers, each of whom are in prison)

4. White trash properly packaged is sure to result in commercial success.

5. When Britney Spears slept with Fred Durst, I think she was trying to do the worst thing she could think of to do.

6. I'm really pissed about the way the internet screwed up fantasy sports.

7. The best question I've ever been asked is, 'My friend and I were just having this argument: which would you rather have: fingernails for hair or hair for fingernails?' Fingernails for hair.... Hair for fingernails would be just the lamest werewolf possible.

8. 'Is Juno indie or hipster?' Hipster. Hipster is now closer to retard. And I don't mean that negatively.... Indie and hipster have gone the way of the Whigs and the Tories.

9. Sex is still popular.

10. The idea of cavemen doing anything is funny to me. Think of how CSI would be if there was a caveman who could smell out rotting flesh.