Ryan Zeinert is proof that it’s hard to be a human being. In his debut book, 65 Poor Life Decisions, the chap of mishaps explores the humorous side of screwing up.

As the title suggests, the book is a compilation of 65 essays culled from Zeinert’s blog, theCDP.net. Since launching four years ago, theCDP has become one of Wisconsin’s best-read humor blogs, with nearly 13,000 hits per month.

The blog chronicles Zeinert’s daily blunders, past embarrassments and general ruminations, such as in an open letter to his noisy, sex-crazed neighbors. Self-deprecating without being boastful, Zeinert charms with his retrospective of awkward moments.

The book kicks-off with Zeinert’s failed attempt to woo a female friend by sporting an ill-fitting outfit and slapping on some Old Spice before their date.

“At the exact same time I made my move to hold her hand, the almost toxic scent of Old Spice wafted into her nostrils like fog in a horror movie.”

Rich with characters, including his high school sweetheart and wife, Celia, 65 Poor Life Decisions spans Zeinert’s 25 years. "It’s My Costume" takes us to 1986 when Zeinert, then in kindergarten, bungles an early attempt at being cool by misplacing his ultra-cool Halloween costume.

Zeinert, a Madison resident, isn’t a poor decision as much as he’s just unlucky. It’s the world around him that’s off. Who can fault him for rushing to the defense of a friend who’d done something indefensible? Or when, as an eighth grader, he was frightened by the romantic come-ons of a young teaching assistant? Or for warring with the bathroom spider before flushing the toilet?

His integrity is intact, even if his dignity is not.

Zeinert’s breezy style makes 65 Poor Life Decisions an easy, yet intelligent read, with his comic relief and biting honesty lending each tale more than a handful of charm. At 365 pages, 65 Poor Life Decisions consistently surprises and delights the senses.

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